"Plugging Up The Holes in Your
Relationships..."
by Susie and Otto Collins
Are there any "holes" in your relationship?
If you're like us--the answer is yes.
In fact, in many relationships there are usually
quite a few "holes."
"Holes" are those things in your relationships and life that
you may know are there but it's always a surprise when
you fall into one.
Things can be going along just fine and before you know
it, you've fallen into one of those darn holes again.
The house we live in is over 130 years old and just like a
lot of relationships, there are many "holes" in the nooks
and crannies in the exterior of the house.
At its core, we have a great home in a beautiful setting.
But the fact is that we really haven't paid a lot of attention
to maintaining the house in the last several years and now the
neglect is beginning to show. The home that was once
beautiful is now in need of major repair.
Is this how your relationship is? We hope not.
The truth is that whether you're talking about a house or a
relationship, if there are any "holes" in them, they didn't
just show up overnight. They are there because you didn't
notice them and then fix them right away before they grew
bigger.
Now, we could move to another house but it wouldn't be long
before problems would start showing up in our new house if
we didn't do a better job of maintaining it. Same way with
your relationships.
What does it mean to plug up the "holes" in a relationship?
It means doing the things every day and even moment-to-
moment that lead to a great relationship.
One of those things is giving the relationship your
attention. Many people get into a relationship and then
put it on auto-pilot. Then months or years later, they wonder
what happened.
If you haven't planned a date together in a while, take some
time right now and plan some type of get-away even if it's
just or an hour at your favorite restaurant or a walk in a park
alone together. Make some time for the two of you to be
together and to enjoy each other.
Make a plan to talk every day about what really matters to
the two of you. This can simply mean telling each other what
you appreciate about the other person.
Another thing that we find helpful is what we call "killing
the monsters in our relationships while they're little."
This means whenever something comes up between you
and your partner, don't let it linger and become an even
bigger issue. In other words, tackle the monsters in the
relationship when they're small and they won't grow up
to be large enough to eat the city (or destroy your relationship.)
Fixing a relationship with holes may not be an overnight
process but it can be done if both partners in the
relationship are committed to making the relationship better
and stronger.
Start plugging those holes today and you'll see how
your relationships will begin to change and grow.
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Susie and Otto Collins are Relationship Coaches and authors
of 3 books on relationships and personal growth. To get
their FREE weekly newsletter filled with practical tips and
ideas for creating more connected, passionate and alive
relationships send a blank message to mailto:collins@aweber.com
or visit their web site at http://www.collinspartners.com
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