Relationship Articles

Is it a Yes or a No?
By Susie and Otto Collins


This past weekend we attended an internet
marketing seminar and one of the most powerful 
things that we heard can be just as easily applied to
your relationships!

The powerful question that was asked was--
"Is it a Yes or is it a No?"

What does this question mean in regard to your
relationships and your life?

To us, it means that every step we take, every
choice we make is either a "yes" or a "no." Whether 
we realize it or not, our ability to make conscious 
decisions about the things in our relationships and 
in our lives will largely determine our happiness. 

We are constantly making choices, either
consciously or unconsciously, about how we will 
use our time, who we will be with, and what we will 
do. All these decisions (or lack of decisiveness) 
positively or negatively affect our happiness.

What happens when we don't make a definite "yes"
or "no" is we get stuck in "maybe" land and others 
decide for us by default how we'll live our lives.

When people get stuck in "maybe" land, they tend
to become angry and resentful but the fact is they 
didn't make a choice.

Here's an example of what we're talking about...
Imagine you and your partner or you and a friend
decide to go to the local movie theater this Friday 
night. There are several possible choices of movies at your theater and you begin talking about what you'd like to see with your partner or friend.

Imagine that your partner or friend has a strong
preference toward one movie and you'd really like to 
see another but you don't say anything. You give your partner or friend a weak, "maybe" or "I don't care" and end up seeing the movie they want to see. 

Later, you feel resentful and angry because this always seems to happen and you "never get to see the movie that you want to see."

What we're saying is that if you don't empower
yourself and express what you want or don't want by
giving a clear "yes" or "no," how can you expect to get it!

It's very important to empower yourself to make
conscious choices to create the relationships and life
that you want.

A lot of people feel anger and resentment toward
others but what they actually may be feeling is
resentment towards themselves for not having the 
confidence to go for what they really want.

So how do you know whether a decision you are
faced with is a "yes" or a "no"?

1. When someone asks you to do something or a
choice is before you, take a moment to quiet yourself
and breathe.

2. Check in with how you are feeling inside. 

To practice this, think of a definite "yes" in
your life, something you are absolutely certain about. 
It might be "I'm a great dancer" or "I'm a good cook" 
or even "I have green eyes." When you think of the
"yes," what do you feel inside your body? Where do you feel it?

When there's a "yes" for Otto, he feels a
strength inside himself and a sense of expansion.

Now think of a definite "no" in your life. What
does it feel like in your body?

When there's a "no" for both of us, there's a
sinking and heaviness in our solar plexus and chest.

Whenever we are are faced with a decision, if we
take the time to go within, we can feel whether
something is a "yes" or a "no." By doing this,
we bypass the wishy-washy place of being stuck in
"maybe."

This doesn't just apply to making decisions about
which movie to see. We invite you to do this
exercise of consciousness on a regular basis about 
all the things in your life. 

When you do, you will feel more empowered and as
a result move confidently toward creating the kind
of relationships and life that you want.

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Susie and Otto Collins are Relationship Coaches and authors of 3 books on relationships and personal growth. To get their FREE weekly newsletter filled with practical tips and ideas for creating more connected, passionate and alive relationships send a blank message to mailto:collins@aweber.com 
or visit their web site at http://www.collinspartners.com 

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