Personal Growth Planet Blog

It seems counter-intuitive to write about the dark and low kind of places in life when Spring is just weeks away and the radiant light of the sun is beginning to make its way more frequently back into the Midwest skies.

But….

Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how bright and shiny it is outside, inside we still struggle. We still get depressed and feel as if we’re losing our grip. In those moments, we believe that things will never improve.

I have experienced my share of these periods of time. I have (and still do occasionally) had anxiety attacks and bouts of feeling dull and low and worthless.

This time of year there’s generally a lot of advice being offered about how to stick with your New Year’s resolutions and how to make changes. I’ve joined in and blogged about this topic in the past few weeks too.

There’s certainly nothing wrong with noticing something about your habits or your life that you’d like to improve upon. In fact, as humans, we tend to constantly be pulled to expand and grow. If we resist this urge, stagnation can result.

…It’s not necessarily your best friend either!

I don’t know of a single philosophy that deems the ego to be all that positive a thing.

We’ve all probably heard someone (maybe even ourselves) called “egotistical” or being accused of having a “big ego.” This is never meant as a compliment.

Many spiritual teachings counsel us to meditate, question and do whatever is necessary to get rid of the ego.

Guilt can crop up in our lives at just about every turn.

You might feel guilty because you’ve strayed from your diet.
You may feel guilty because you forgot the birthday of a dear friend.
You could feel guilty because you spoke harshly to your spouse.
You may feel guilty because you aren’t as kind, generous, reliable, eco-friendly, productive, religious or spiritual…. as you think you should be.

It seems that we humans are hard-wired with a propensity to feel guilty.

A muscle-bound man or woman
To endure extreme challenges or difficulties
A tensed and ready-for-anything state
Pushing against, forcing movement

All of these phrases, to me, signify strength. Whether it’s the weight-lifter who hefts and holds overhead more than 200 lbs. or the CEO who manages to motivate thousands of employees, there is something tough and hard about strength.

This proves problematic when I encourage myself to be strong in my own life.

I feel my muscles tense up, I notice my perceptions and opinions become more rigid and fixed. I tend to resist whatever is going on– within me or outside of me– that is not preferable.

Peace means something different to us all.

It might mean a quiet morning with a cup of tea, a good book and nothing else but the sounds of birds singing and the rustling of wind in the trees.

Instead, peace might be the adrenaline rush that comes with biking on a mountain path, sweat dripping, heart and other muscles pumping and the wind in your face.

Peace may just be the absence of bickering, fighting or angst. It could be the realization that the kids, you and your partner or others in your home, community and world have ceased their usual wars for awhile.

To be called “selfish,” is rarely a compliment.

In the dictionary, the word is defined as: self-serving, self-interested, stingy, egotistical and more. None of these descriptions have any morsel of positive connotation either.

I grew up an only child and I totally cringe when I hear another person drag out that tired stereotype of the spoiled and selfish only child.

But, what if being selfish wasn’t such a detestable and shame-worthy thing after all?

What if being selfish was actually just the way that we all are– when we really admit it? And what if owning our own selfish-nesses helped make this world a better place?

Every morning I do sit ups and supported back bends over a big plastic balance ball. After I’ve stretched and moved my body in this way, it feels so good. It’s an infusion to my system that helps me prepare for what’s ahead that day.

But, as I reach my hands backward, toward the floor, my balance is challenged. My body is gently pulled just a little bit more than it’s used to being pulled.

This is an uncomfortable feeling. Sometimes, I tumble right off the ball onto the floor. Other times, I notice myself holding back– not fully giving my all to the backward bending.

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new”- Albert Einstein

No matter how many wise and witty quotes I read about the value– even the necessity– of making mistakes in life, it’s still uncomfortable and sometimes painful for me when they happen.

There have got to be very few people in this world who actually enjoy making mistakes.

Even the most laid-back, easy-going souls among us probably cringe when they say the “wrong” thing, drop a plate full of food on someone’s white carpeting, forget an important deadline or some other blunder among the millions of possible blunders a person could make.

Do you tend to go through life feeling like you’re banging up against one brick wall after another?

I have certainly felt that way at times. It can seem as if I am slowly plodding along through my thigh-deep-in-mud kind of days.

Trying. to. get. ahead.

During those days, weeks or months in which setbacks and obstacles appear to be the norm, I long for life to be easy. I find myself asking, “Why can’t life be easy for once?”

The answer, of course, all comes down to me.