Personal Growth Planet Blog

I can vividly remember my mother storming into the Skate-A-Way roller rink in her bright red “toreador” pants when I was late walking out to the parking lot. We’d agreed that I’d be outside ready to go at 9pm, but I often lost track of time– maybe intentionally, maybe not.

She’d get frustrated waiting and finally come in to get me. I still think she purposely chose to wear her most outlandish clothes on those nights, those that would be the most embarrassing to a young teenager longing to be popular.

“Oh mother!” I would scowl.

What If…

Life was actually an adventure to be lived and not a struggle to be endured?

You already are as beautiful/competent/successful/intelligent/creative as you’re striving to be?

You looked around at ALL that you are and and ALL that is going on in your life instead of only at the problems and things needing to be “fixed?”

Your partner/kids/parents/siblings/friends/world don’t need to be changed after all?

Nobody and nothing was working against you?

There really wasn’t anything to prove? Nothing at all.

Challenges and mishaps were experienced as opportunities for growth and expansion?

You’re already free to be, do or have whatever you desire?

The journey was more rewarding than the achievement of goals?

You didn’t wait to be joyful?

Your smile and kind words– for even just one person– could set off a chain reaction that would positively transform the world?

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.”
~Rumi

I imagine this field that Rumi refers to.

I see it as this sunny, peaceful space where flowers are always in bloom, birds sing and everyone lives in harmony.

Fully visible is what lies beneath those heavy layers of judgment, criticism, blaming, superiority, ignorance, fear and hatred that we all are blanketed by from time to time.

We can be our best selves and and can see the best in others.

But, is this field a practical possibility in everyday life?

I recently read about one woman’s challenge to not look at herself in a mirror for a full year. Kjerstin Gruys, a sociologist, wants women to re-think body image and to question portrayals of women’s beauty in the media.

What made this challenge even more daunting is that Gruys planned and prepared for her own wedding during this year of no mirrors. Gruys and her fiance were married recently, by the way.

While I applaud the statement that Gruys is making with her year of no mirrors, I have to wonder…

Is the mirror really the problem after all?

I’m not talking about rushing into love…

In the past, when my husband, one of my sons or someone else I care about makes me mad or appears to be angry with me, I have had a tendency to rush in and attempt to get the whole thing “fixed” as quickly as possible.

My habitual mode has been to get it out right then and there.

To speak my truth, expect the other person to share his or her perspective on the situation and to hash it all out– hopefully coming to some resolution we both can be happy with.

“Will I be a pilgrim or an Indian?” This is the question I remember asking myself in late November when I was in grade school. We wore construction paper feathers or pilgrim hats on our heads and got to eat special food at school.

We were taught about the peaceful and cooperative meal shared by Native Americans and white settlers.

However, if you read what historians have to say, this is pretty much a misrepresentation of what actually went down.

Lately, my shoulders have been very, very tight. My husband massages them and I hear the icky crunch of the tight muscle. I stretch them, use counter-pressure and remind myself to breathe.

And still my shoulders get tight. This affects my neck, arms and entire back– in unpleasant ways.

I am able to relax on the weekends and experience some loosening up, but especially after an extended period of time at work writing at my computer, the tightness ratchets back up leaving me uncomfortable and sometimes in pain.

Do you look at your life and wonder how you got to where you are today?

Maybe you are pretty much where you always believed you’d be– this might be mostly pleasing to you and it might not.

Or, perhaps you can’t quite figure out how you’ve come to this place which seems lacking in so many ways.

Your checkbook may be low or empty much of the time.
Your relationships might be contentious and/or lackluster.
Your health might be fragile and weak.
Your body size and shape might be unacceptable to you.
Moments of fun, enjoyment and leisure may occur rarely, if ever.

I’ve heard before messages counseling us all to live in the present moment from wise ones such as Eckhart Tolle and others. These teachings make a lot of sense to me– but rarely do I truly do this for any length of time.

But, after a recent breathwork session led by our dear friends Paula and Christopher Easton, I decided to really put this idea into practice.

At the session, Christopher Easton reminded us to “respond in the present moment.” The very next day– still glowing from my breathwork experience– I began my radical experiment.

As Lou Reed sang, does it ever seem that in order to just get through the days of your life, you need an immense– busload– amount of faith?

Life sometimes knocks us around. We can become worried, afraid and despairing about the conditions of our bodies, our lives and those close to us.

In times like these, just about everyone wants assurance that it’s all going to work out for the best.

Who doesn’t want to believe that everything will be fine?

This sense of hopefulness and wishing it will all work out is where faith comes in.