Personal Growth Planet Blog

I can vividly remember my mother storming into the Skate-A-Way roller rink in her bright red “toreador” pants when I was late walking out to the parking lot. We’d agreed that I’d be outside ready to go at 9pm, but I often lost track of time– maybe intentionally, maybe not.

She’d get frustrated waiting and finally come in to get me. I still think she purposely chose to wear her most outlandish clothes on those nights, those that would be the most embarrassing to a young teenager longing to be popular.

“Oh mother!” I would scowl.

“Will I be a pilgrim or an Indian?” This is the question I remember asking myself in late November when I was in grade school. We wore construction paper feathers or pilgrim hats on our heads and got to eat special food at school.

We were taught about the peaceful and cooperative meal shared by Native Americans and white settlers.

However, if you read what historians have to say, this is pretty much a misrepresentation of what actually went down.

Guilt can crop up in our lives at just about every turn.

You might feel guilty because you’ve strayed from your diet.
You may feel guilty because you forgot the birthday of a dear friend.
You could feel guilty because you spoke harshly to your spouse.
You may feel guilty because you aren’t as kind, generous, reliable, eco-friendly, productive, religious or spiritual…. as you think you should be.

It seems that we humans are hard-wired with a propensity to feel guilty.

September 11th used to be a date of happy anticipation for me. It is the day before my wedding anniversary, so it is something I– previously– associated only with eagerness for the celebrating to come on the 12th.

After 2001, however, this all changed.

Yes, I still look forward to and do celebrate my wedding anniversary with my husband on September 12th each year. But, the day before is a more confusing experience now. For me, there is a sadness and a bit of anxiousness mixed in with my excitement to commemorate the love that my husband and I have shared over the years.

Peace means something different to us all.

It might mean a quiet morning with a cup of tea, a good book and nothing else but the sounds of birds singing and the rustling of wind in the trees.

Instead, peace might be the adrenaline rush that comes with biking on a mountain path, sweat dripping, heart and other muscles pumping and the wind in your face.

Peace may just be the absence of bickering, fighting or angst. It could be the realization that the kids, you and your partner or others in your home, community and world have ceased their usual wars for awhile.

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new”- Albert Einstein

No matter how many wise and witty quotes I read about the value– even the necessity– of making mistakes in life, it’s still uncomfortable and sometimes painful for me when they happen.

There have got to be very few people in this world who actually enjoy making mistakes.

Even the most laid-back, easy-going souls among us probably cringe when they say the “wrong” thing, drop a plate full of food on someone’s white carpeting, forget an important deadline or some other blunder among the millions of possible blunders a person could make.

Pretty much every one of us has some (or many) old wounds that we carry around. Long ago, or more recently, we were “wronged” or hurt in some way and we just can’t seem to get over it.

Forgiveness is one very effective and powerful way to heal those wounds…or so we’ve probably been told.

The trouble with forgiveness is it is such a loaded concept!

There’s a definite connotation that posits forgiveness as the “right” or compassionate thing to do for another person. Religious teachings might have helped cement this self-less understanding of forgiving in your mind; they have for me.