Personal Growth Planet Blog

What is my destiny? What is my purpose in life?

These are BIG questions that run through my mind from time to time. As I go through my life, I sometimes wonder if there isn’t something more I am “supposed” to be doing. Is there some important path in life that I have neglected, ignored or by-passed?

Maybe this is just a mid-life thing or perhaps people of all ages ask themselves similar questions.

The idea that there is some higher purpose or destiny in one’s life is present in movies, books, television shows and stories of real people’s experiences.

I recently read about one woman’s challenge to not look at herself in a mirror for a full year. Kjerstin Gruys, a sociologist, wants women to re-think body image and to question portrayals of women’s beauty in the media.

What made this challenge even more daunting is that Gruys planned and prepared for her own wedding during this year of no mirrors. Gruys and her fiance were married recently, by the way.

While I applaud the statement that Gruys is making with her year of no mirrors, I have to wonder…

Is the mirror really the problem after all?

My heart soars when I see video footage of the masses of people who are raising their voices and making their presence known on Wall Street in New York City.

For almost two weeks now, activists and regular folks, union members, airline pilots, celebrities and more have used non-violent resistance to occupy parts of New York City to call for systemic changes in our country’s financial and political systems.

What does accepting– even loving– your body have to do with what really matters in life? Why is feeling beautiful important anyway?

After all, wars are being waged, people are losing their jobs, people are starving and suffering, the Earth is changing in many worrisome and scary ways…

Aren’t those the really important things?

When I get all caught up in feeling less than lovely, I start to feel embarrassed. It seems somewhat narcissistic and self-obsessed for me to be stressing out and consumed by my negative perceptions of how I think my body looks.

The wave rushes in, covering my feet in cool wet. As the water recedes, it takes with it sand– some of which I was just standing on. The sensation of ocean sand shifting beneath my feet is pretty amazing. When I stare down at the water-sand-flesh action going on, I sometimes feel dizzy and sway a little bit.

On my recent vacation, I thoroughly enjoyed feeling the sand shift beneath my feet as the cold Pacific Ocean moved water and sand in and out with the waves.

What a simple, natural phenomenon such as this offers me is a lesson in groundlessness.

You might not think of the culture here in the U.S. as devoid of fun and frivolity, but I think that it is. Look around and you might see all kinds of people doing all kinds of things that seem light and jovial…but, if you look a closer, this isn’t necessarily the case.

You see, there’s a huge difference between truly having fun and merely numbing out through entertainment.

Many of us seem to live in this impossible contradiction of wanting to do something important and valuable with our lives but then craving some outlet or sense of escape.

I’m learning to appreciate the curves
…of my body.

The lumps, the bumps, the peaks, valleys
and the rough places too.

This curvy, shapely, not-thin body of mine
is rounded and full of past, present and future.

It speaks of pain, joy, shame, ecstasy, birth and life.

It tells tales of first touches– some rough and painful, others tender and sweet.

In last week’s blog post, I described what a double exposed moment or life is like and I laid out some of the potential hazards of this (usually) unconscious reaction.

Those double exposed moments are when the past and present fuse together in a weird and sometimes painful amalgam in the mind.

They literally alter a person’s experiences. The reactions that come from this confusing fusion can be anger or defensiveness that doesn’t seem to fit the situation or could involve an emotional withdrawal or shutting down.

The effects to a person’s relationships and ability to attain goals can be negative.

Have you ever had a double exposed moment? Perhaps it feels like you’re living a double exposed life!

“Double exposure” is a technique used by some photographers. The result is the superimposing of two images on top of– or to the side of– one another. It is usually done intentionally to gain a particular effect. Pretty cool art!

There are far too many times in my own life when I feel as if I am having a double exposed* moment. It is as if I am speaking and reacting to some person or situation from the past and NOT speaking and responding to what’s going on right here and now.

The 4th of July is an important date in the history of the United States. It marks the anniversary of our founders adopting the Declaration of Independence. This was the date when it was officially declared that this collection of states (former colonies) were now a free and independent country.

Setting aside the fact that on July 4, 1776 not every person living in what was becoming the United States of America was truly free…

I’m going to talk about what freedom doesn’t mean to me and also what it does mean to me…