Personal Growth Planet Blog

I’m not talking about rushing into love…

In the past, when my husband, one of my sons or someone else I care about makes me mad or appears to be angry with me, I have had a tendency to rush in and attempt to get the whole thing “fixed” as quickly as possible.

My habitual mode has been to get it out right then and there.

To speak my truth, expect the other person to share his or her perspective on the situation and to hash it all out– hopefully coming to some resolution we both can be happy with.

Person #1: Would you like to meet me for dinner tonight?

Person #2: Sorry, I can’t.

Person #1: Oh, okay. I understand. (Thinking to self: She and I aren’t as close anymore. She’s probably just making up an excuse because she doesn’t want to hang out with me.)

A lot can happen in a very short conversation such as this. That is to say, a lot of inaccuracies and incorrect assumptions can occur and have very real effects on people’s relationships and lives.

Just about everyone I know is overcommitted and has a difficult time saying “no.”

It seems to be the American way to agree to whatever request (or demand) is thrown our way– and then complain about, resent and feel powerless to whatever it is we felt compelled to say “yes” to in the first place.

It all comes down to a desire, perhaps even a desperate need, to please.

Even the most non-conforming individuals among us want to be liked. While there are those who may not comfortably admit it, just about everyone has a need to feel loved and accepted (even if it’s on our terms, in specific sub-cultures and in our own unique ways).

Last weekend I went to see Tim Burton’s new movie “Alice in Wonderland,” based on the classic novel. It was a visual delight and was also filled with intriguing and expansive messages.

Alice quotes her beloved father and declares, “Sometimes, I have believed as many as 6 impossible things before breakfast.”

What if we each were to start out the day by NOT listing off all of the things we need to get done? |

Rather than writing down the home chores, errands, work projects and other miscellany that I need to accomplish before this day ends, what if, instead, I dreamed up and actually believed 6 (or more) impossible things?

By Amy Phillips-Gary

Jack works hard so that his family can live comfortably. He works long days at the office and then attends to his wife’s “honey do” list when he gets home. To Jack, all of his efforts seem to go unnoticed by his family.

What he wouldn’t give for just a little appreciation for all that he does; some morsel of support wouldn’t hurt either!

Have you ever felt like Jack in your relationships?

By Amy Phillips-Gary

Change is inevitable.

Change happens all of the time, every single day for each of us. No matter how boring and predictable we think our lives are, we-- along with everyone else-- are in constant flux.

Time passes. We get older. Seasons change and the Earth evolves.

In our day-to-day lives, changes are happening too-- on mundane levels as well as those more radical.

We finish one project at work and move on to another one. We make career changes; we end marriages or relationships and we eventually fall in love again.

By Amy Phillips-Gary

Have you ever been so close to having the job, relationship, car, vacation, or whatever it is that you want but something happens that seems to prevent you from actually having that desire come into fruition?

What is it that blasted thing or person that’s standing in between you and what you want?

When I’ve been in such a place, I sometimes delude myself into thinking that it’s another person or some outside force that is the spoiler.