Personal Growth Planet Blog

It can start with a knick while shaving, coffee spilling on your clean clothes or someone cutting you off in traffic.

Your lousy, no-good day can seem like an unending, downward spiral of irritations, annoyances, bad news and maybe a crisis or two thrown in as well.

If you’re having that kind of day (week, month or lifetime) try this…

#1: Have a 3 minute “pity party.”

C’mon, you know you want to. When nothing is going right, many of us feel sorry for ourselves. Yes, embarrassing, but it’s actually a pretty normal reaction. The trick is not to get stuck in a “poor me” mindset because this won’t improve your day.

What scares you?

Plenty of people love to be scared. They watch horror films and, especially this time of year, they seek out haunted houses and delight in being frightened by ghosts, ghouls and zombies.

It’s all fun…when it’s all fun.

Of course, I’m talking about that kind of fear that makes you jump and possibly even scream when you’re not actually in danger. It’s all pretend or it’s fiction you’re reading or watching on a movie screen.

“…Anger can improve health, enhance intimacy, further social justice and spur creativity,” proclaimed the author of a recent Ode Magazine* article.

No Way!

At least that was my initial reaction to reading this statement.

In my experience and in my mind, anger destroys intimacy, is dangerous for a person’s health and stands in the way of creativity. In my mind, anger equals aggression, either overt and in your face or passive and seething just beneath the surface.

Drums beat a steady, almost hypnotic rhythm. Bodies move, twist, turn and twirl and intermingle with and among the beats.

Dancing…

In some form or another I have danced throughout my life. As a young girl, I took tap and jazz dance lessons. I can still remember kick ball changing my way across the wooden floors of Miss Lois’ dance studio.

Many bright points for me in the midst of my angst-filled high school years were singing and dancing in the show choir. And, for the past few years, I have taken belly dancing classes at a local recreation center. I am filled with gratitude for the patient and good-humored belly dancing teachers I have who, yet again, try to help me learn to undulate and shimmy.

I’m not talking about rushing into love…

In the past, when my husband, one of my sons or someone else I care about makes me mad or appears to be angry with me, I have had a tendency to rush in and attempt to get the whole thing “fixed” as quickly as possible.

My habitual mode has been to get it out right then and there.

To speak my truth, expect the other person to share his or her perspective on the situation and to hash it all out– hopefully coming to some resolution we both can be happy with.

5 or 6 years ago, in response to the words of my doctor and results of a cholesterol test, I lost around 25 pounds over the course of several months. I began to exercise, I cut out sugary, processed foods and ate more vegetables and whole foods– all great things to do for my overall health. I was also able to lower my cholesterol levels so that they were all in the healthy range.

It felt great…except that it didn’t.

Yes, I was happy that my body was slimmer and more fit. Yes, I was delighted that I lowered my cholesterol without the use of prescription drugs.

The traditional Christmas story goes something like this…

A very pregnant Mary and her husband Joseph find themselves in Bethlehem. Because of a government-ordered census, there is no room at any inn and, finally, the couple settles in to a humble stable, sharing the space with sheep and cows.

After Mary gives birth to Jesus in the stable and lays him a manger, a star and Angel guide all manner of wise men, shepherds and others to visit this special baby who grows up to be a very wise and enlightened man.

Every year when I was growing up, my mom, aunt, grandmother and I would go over to my Great Aunt Petey’s house the day before Christmas. We’d arrive at 7 or 8 in the morning and help her make homemade donuts.

Mind you, these sugary confections were not as good a day or two after they were fried up but when they were fresh, they were divine. Aunt Petey and her crew of helpers made several dozens of donuts and delivered them to neighbors and friends– saving plenty for the family too, of course.

“Will I be a pilgrim or an Indian?” This is the question I remember asking myself in late November when I was in grade school. We wore construction paper feathers or pilgrim hats on our heads and got to eat special food at school.

We were taught about the peaceful and cooperative meal shared by Native Americans and white settlers.

However, if you read what historians have to say, this is pretty much a misrepresentation of what actually went down.

There are tons of books, CDs, courses, websites, DVDs, lectures and more all about the benefits and power of a positive attitude.

What being “positive” actually means varies depending on the specific author, philosophy or approach.

Some invite us to smile and laugh more often. Others advise us to look for the gifts and opportunities in every situation. Yet others encourage us to be grateful for what we have, who we are and what’s going on for us in any moment.

I do not disagree with any of this advice. However, I can only imagine that many of you out there might, from time to time, ask yourselves this question…