Personal Growth Planet Blog

During my high school and undergraduate years, I remember looking forward to being a full-fledged adult. Part of the allure of getting older was the promise of no longer caring about what others think of me.

Now that I am most certainly a “full-fledged” adult, I am a bit disappointed to see that this desire for acceptance and approval has not magically evaporated. It’s still there even if it takes different forms and is mellower (at times).

I’ve heard plenty of people claim that a benefit of growing older is that you don’t care what anyone else thinks about you anymore. Unfortunately, I have not found that to be true in my experience.

“Everyone, please send me texts and, Dad, could you bring my bike?”

This request was posted on a social networking site by the daughter of a friend of mine who recently started college. As you might already know, moving away from home, family and friends to embark upon what is essentially a brand new life can be unsettling, uncomfortable and maybe even a bit terrifying.

Of course, going to college (or setting out on another kind of new adventure) is also potentially exhilarating and exciting…especially if you feel like you are being supported along the way.

Why would anyone want to spend any time or energy returning to those hormone-racing, pimple-filled, angst-ridden teenage years?

Precisely because for just about every one of us there’s a lot that is unresolved about them.

Each of our raging inner teens come barging into our lives from time to time leaving us scratching our heads wondering…

Where did that reaction come from???

When you go inside and help your inner teen to heal, it’s quite likely that you’ll find a greater sense of peace, a boost in confidence and self-esteem and the space to be and do what you keep meaning to be and do.

Lately, my shoulders have been very, very tight. My husband massages them and I hear the icky crunch of the tight muscle. I stretch them, use counter-pressure and remind myself to breathe.

And still my shoulders get tight. This affects my neck, arms and entire back– in unpleasant ways.

I am able to relax on the weekends and experience some loosening up, but especially after an extended period of time at work writing at my computer, the tightness ratchets back up leaving me uncomfortable and sometimes in pain.

Through the peaks, valleys and sheer drop-offs of life, it can be easy to become lost.

I’m not talking about veering from the path that society or your family has set for you. I’m talking about getting disconnected and far far away from your true, authentic self.

This might be the you who you used to be. The person who knew what he or she wanted and went for it. The you who was clear, confident and self-aware.

Maybe you haven’t felt this way since you were a young child. Perhaps you’ve never ever felt in touch with the real you.

“That’s unladylike…”
“She’s too old to wear a mini-skirt…”
“Who does she think she is?…”
“Why would he be with HER?…”
“She just needs to act her age…”

Many of us have heard– or even uttered– words like these. We see a woman acting in some way that appears, to us, to be out of the norm and possibly even ridiculous.

We might do a double-take as we see the obviously older woman romantically involved with a much younger man. We can’t help but stare a bit at the woman in her 50s dressed in attire that we associate with 20 year olds.

Last weekend I went to see Tim Burton’s new movie “Alice in Wonderland,” based on the classic novel. It was a visual delight and was also filled with intriguing and expansive messages.

Alice quotes her beloved father and declares, “Sometimes, I have believed as many as 6 impossible things before breakfast.”

What if we each were to start out the day by NOT listing off all of the things we need to get done? |

Rather than writing down the home chores, errands, work projects and other miscellany that I need to accomplish before this day ends, what if, instead, I dreamed up and actually believed 6 (or more) impossible things?

By Amy Phillips-Gary

Do you ever feel like you’re boxed into a room with a very very low ceiling?

I certainly do at times. It’s as if there’s some imaginary boundary that’s preventing me from moving ahead with my plans and intentions.

Whether it’s a ceiling on my finances, my relationships, my creativity and career or my ability to have a healthier fitter body, that blocked feeling is oh so real.

And I put the ceiling there.

It is almost epidemic the way many of us erect ceilings on our own capacity and then act as if we’re helplessly trapped.