I don’t like to think of myself as a manipulative person. I don’t like to think about myself as driven by the desire to be rewarded for my “good” or benevolent acts.
But, when I’m really honest with myself, I can see this in there. Rarely is it conscious, yet, when I look at the range of what motivates and propels me to say and do the things I do… it’s there.
The craving for and expectation of a reward.
Over the weekend I attended a fabulous concert by the band Fitz and the Tantrums. It was a sold out show and the venue was general admission, standing room only. This means lots of people (many drunk or otherwise inebriated) crammed together enjoying the music.
We purposely arrived early to the show so that we could get a choice spot to stand. Mid-way through the concert, a woman forcefully barged in between me and another woman, shoving us both to the side.
The secret was kept by many.
8 boys were sexually abused by Jerry Sandusky, former Penn State assistant coach over a period of approximately 14 years.
What is also upsetting about this case is that the crime was witnessed by another adult and reported to superiors– allegedly including head football coach Joe Paterno, among others who were in positions to take action.
It is incredible to imagine that this abuse was allowed to continue for so long and that Sandusky was not stopped.
There are many possible reasons why secrets were kept at Penn State…
What is my destiny? What is my purpose in life?
These are BIG questions that run through my mind from time to time. As I go through my life, I sometimes wonder if there isn’t something more I am “supposed” to be doing. Is there some important path in life that I have neglected, ignored or by-passed?
Maybe this is just a mid-life thing or perhaps people of all ages ask themselves similar questions.
The idea that there is some higher purpose or destiny in one’s life is present in movies, books, television shows and stories of real people’s experiences.
I’m learning to appreciate the curves
…of my body.
The lumps, the bumps, the peaks, valleys
and the rough places too.
This curvy, shapely, not-thin body of mine
is rounded and full of past, present and future.
It speaks of pain, joy, shame, ecstasy, birth and life.
It tells tales of first touches– some rough and painful, others tender and sweet.
It narrates the story of me, up to this point in time.
How can I do anything else but appreciate this body, this me?
I’m learning to appreciate the curves
…of my life.
Okay, okay, I’ll admit it…
There is not one way to be empowered. There are countless ways.
There really aren’t “right” and “wrong” ways to be empowered either.
But…
There are many, many ways that a lot of us spend our precious time and energy that are flat out dis-empowering and we don’t often realize it.
I’ve been listening to a fabulous collection of audios by Buddhist nun Pema Chodron*. If you are turned off by either (or both) the words “Buddhist” or “nun,” give this a listen anyway. Chodron’s teachings are accessible, easily relatable and for anyone regardless of religious or spiritual beliefs.
“Sacrifice” is a heavy-duty concept. It is laden with so many connotations that I even hesitate to highlight it in this way.
It is often associated with the Christian Easter story in which Jesus sacrificed himself for the good of humankind. Over the past several weeks, many people have made sacrifices in the form of giving up something that is dear to them to participate in Lent.
No matter what your religious or spiritual beliefs are, it’s probable that you’ve encountered a sense of sacrifice at some point.
“Don’t mention the war.”
This caution– quoted from a particularly funny episode* of the British comedy series “Fawlty Towers”– has been periodically used by my family since I was a kid.
When one of us uttered the words, “Don’t mention the war,” it meant that a particular topic was sensitive or touchy for someone. That subject of conversation was better left unmentioned.
In other words… don’t “go there.”
This tradition continues today and I’m sure it’s not just my family that does this. How many times have any of us intentionally NOT brought up politics or religion around a certain family member or friend because it’s clear that the topic will only lead to a pointless debate where nobody really listens?
I’ve been reading an informative book called Outsmarting the Midlife Fat Cell by dietitian Debra Waterhouse. As I’ve hit my 40s, I’m starting to notice some signs of change in my body. This book has been a great resource to help me understand these changes, as well as ones to come.
What I appreciate about Waterhouse’s book is that she explains that, for women, meeting midlife weight gain with a food restriction-diet approach is only going to make things more difficult. It turns out that the ever-expanding fat cells in a woman’s body during the 10 or 20 years of perimenopause* actually help to ease women through this transitional time.
I’m not talking about rushing into love…
In the past, when my husband, one of my sons or someone else I care about makes me mad or appears to be angry with me, I have had a tendency to rush in and attempt to get the whole thing “fixed” as quickly as possible.
My habitual mode has been to get it out right then and there.
To speak my truth, expect the other person to share his or her perspective on the situation and to hash it all out– hopefully coming to some resolution we both can be happy with.
