Personal Growth Planet Blog

“You’re making a mountain out of a molehill!”

You’ve probably heard this adage before, maybe from your grandmother or a great-uncle.

Recently, I found myself essentially saying the same thing to my older son. As I listened to him list off all of the huge and impossible situations in his life, I couldn’t help myself.

I told him that, from my vantage point,- things aren’t as dire as he was making them out to be.

I urged him to stop making problems when there really aren’t any.

Easy for me to say, huh?!

I don’t like to think of myself as a manipulative person. I don’t like to think about myself as driven by the desire to be rewarded for my “good” or benevolent acts.

But, when I’m really honest with myself, I can see this in there. Rarely is it conscious, yet, when I look at the range of what motivates and propels me to say and do the things I do… it’s there.

The craving for and expectation of a reward.

Over the weekend I attended a fabulous concert by the band Fitz and the Tantrums. It was a sold out show and the venue was general admission, standing room only. This means lots of people (many drunk or otherwise inebriated) crammed together enjoying the music.

We purposely arrived early to the show so that we could get a choice spot to stand. Mid-way through the concert, a woman forcefully barged in between me and another woman, shoving us both to the side.

What is my destiny? What is my purpose in life?

These are BIG questions that run through my mind from time to time. As I go through my life, I sometimes wonder if there isn’t something more I am “supposed” to be doing. Is there some important path in life that I have neglected, ignored or by-passed?

Maybe this is just a mid-life thing or perhaps people of all ages ask themselves similar questions.

The idea that there is some higher purpose or destiny in one’s life is present in movies, books, television shows and stories of real people’s experiences.

Okay, okay, I’ll admit it…

There is not one way to be empowered. There are countless ways.

There really aren’t “right” and “wrong” ways to be empowered either.

But…

There are many, many ways that a lot of us spend our precious time and energy that are flat out dis-empowering and we don’t often realize it.

I’ve been listening to a fabulous collection of audios by Buddhist nun Pema Chodron*. If you are turned off by either (or both) the words “Buddhist” or “nun,” give this a listen anyway. Chodron’s teachings are accessible, easily relatable and for anyone regardless of religious or spiritual beliefs.

“Sacrifice” is a heavy-duty concept. It is laden with so many connotations that I even hesitate to highlight it in this way.

It is often associated with the Christian Easter story in which Jesus sacrificed himself for the good of humankind. Over the past several weeks, many people have made sacrifices in the form of giving up something that is dear to them to participate in Lent.

No matter what your religious or spiritual beliefs are, it’s probable that you’ve encountered a sense of sacrifice at some point.

I’ve been reading an informative book called Outsmarting the Midlife Fat Cell by dietitian Debra Waterhouse. As I’ve hit my 40s, I’m starting to notice some signs of change in my body. This book has been a great resource to help me understand these changes, as well as ones to come.

What I appreciate about Waterhouse’s book is that she explains that, for women, meeting midlife weight gain with a food restriction-diet approach is only going to make things more difficult. It turns out that the ever-expanding fat cells in a woman’s body during the 10 or 20 years of perimenopause* actually help to ease women through this transitional time.

This time of year there’s generally a lot of advice being offered about how to stick with your New Year’s resolutions and how to make changes. I’ve joined in and blogged about this topic in the past few weeks too.

There’s certainly nothing wrong with noticing something about your habits or your life that you’d like to improve upon. In fact, as humans, we tend to constantly be pulled to expand and grow. If we resist this urge, stagnation can result.

Every year when I was growing up, my mom, aunt, grandmother and I would go over to my Great Aunt Petey’s house the day before Christmas. We’d arrive at 7 or 8 in the morning and help her make homemade donuts.

Mind you, these sugary confections were not as good a day or two after they were fried up but when they were fresh, they were divine. Aunt Petey and her crew of helpers made several dozens of donuts and delivered them to neighbors and friends– saving plenty for the family too, of course.

The benefits of mindfulness– for both mental and physical wellness– have been demonstrated in scientific studies and people’s everyday experiences.

But, what is mindfulness?

If a person wants to lead a more mindful life, how does that person go about it?

When I think of mindfulness, I also think of its presumed opposite…mindlessness.

Then, unfortunately, a whole barrage of judgmental and critical declarations come to my mind.

“Watching television shows is mindless.”
“Playing Farmville or Facebook games is mindless.”
“Scarfing down potato chips and reading Star magazine is mindless.”
“Chatting for hours with a group of friends about inconsequential topics is mindless.”