Personal Growth Planet Blog

The word “unconditional” is thrown around quite a bit. It is often assumed that parents love their children unconditionally. Lovers are expected to love one another unconditionally. To boost self esteem, a person is encouraged to accept him or herself unconditionally.

I don’t know about you, but truly accepting or even loving unconditionally is not as easy as it sounds.

If any of us are completely honest with ourselves, we’d probably discover that there’s not a whole lot of unconditional loving or accepting going on.

Okay, okay, I’ll admit it…

There is not one way to be empowered. There are countless ways.

There really aren’t “right” and “wrong” ways to be empowered either.

But…

There are many, many ways that a lot of us spend our precious time and energy that are flat out dis-empowering and we don’t often realize it.

I’ve been listening to a fabulous collection of audios by Buddhist nun Pema Chodron*. If you are turned off by either (or both) the words “Buddhist” or “nun,” give this a listen anyway. Chodron’s teachings are accessible, easily relatable and for anyone regardless of religious or spiritual beliefs.

First of all, I don’t know what– if anything different than the usual– will happen on Saturday, May 21st. What I do know is that we humans (no matter what our religious beliefs are) tend to prepare for the worst.

Whether it’s preparing for a “Judgment Day” in which our “sins” will be counted up and assessed, preparing for our country’s economy to go belly-up or even preparing for the ones we love to let us down and leave us…

We humans seem to have a propensity to steel ourselves for an inevitable, horrible, gut-wrenching, carpet-ripped-out-from-under-us kind of life.

“Sacrifice” is a heavy-duty concept. It is laden with so many connotations that I even hesitate to highlight it in this way.

It is often associated with the Christian Easter story in which Jesus sacrificed himself for the good of humankind. Over the past several weeks, many people have made sacrifices in the form of giving up something that is dear to them to participate in Lent.

No matter what your religious or spiritual beliefs are, it’s probable that you’ve encountered a sense of sacrifice at some point.

There’s something thrilling about digging into the soil for the first time in the early spring as I introduce new plants into my garden.

I am delighted as I notice buds on trees, bursts of color from daffodils and the emergence and unfolding of fern fronds from the ground.

Spring is one of my favorite seasons because, for me, it holds such promise. From the dreariness and desolation of winter emerges all of this new life. It’s colorful, verdant and nourishing on so many levels.

I think of myself as a pretty positive kind of person.  I make it a point to focus on what, to me, is going “right” in a situation.

If the cake I bake falls, I remind myself that it still tastes good. If I have to spend an afternoon with someone who usually annoys me, I try to find something about the visit that I can genuinely appreciate.

(Okay, I’ll admit it. This is an intention and not always the way it plays out.)

5 or 6 years ago, in response to the words of my doctor and results of a cholesterol test, I lost around 25 pounds over the course of several months. I began to exercise, I cut out sugary, processed foods and ate more vegetables and whole foods– all great things to do for my overall health. I was also able to lower my cholesterol levels so that they were all in the healthy range.

It felt great…except that it didn’t.

Yes, I was happy that my body was slimmer and more fit. Yes, I was delighted that I lowered my cholesterol without the use of prescription drugs.

Every year when I was growing up, my mom, aunt, grandmother and I would go over to my Great Aunt Petey’s house the day before Christmas. We’d arrive at 7 or 8 in the morning and help her make homemade donuts.

Mind you, these sugary confections were not as good a day or two after they were fried up but when they were fresh, they were divine. Aunt Petey and her crew of helpers made several dozens of donuts and delivered them to neighbors and friends– saving plenty for the family too, of course.

“Let there be peace on Earth and let it begin with me.
Let there be peace on Earth, the peace that was meant to be…”

Growing up, this was always one of my favorite hymns to sing in church. I still feel bolstered and uplifted when I sing it for myself today.

Peace can appear to be an elusive state. Wars seem to abound. Knowing and perceiving this can quickly deflate that sense of uplift and hope.

Some may claim that conflict is inevitable. Others may insist that human beings are self-centered and territorial and that, with a scarcity of resources, there is bound to be aggression and wars.

The benefits of mindfulness– for both mental and physical wellness– have been demonstrated in scientific studies and people’s everyday experiences.

But, what is mindfulness?

If a person wants to lead a more mindful life, how does that person go about it?

When I think of mindfulness, I also think of its presumed opposite…mindlessness.

Then, unfortunately, a whole barrage of judgmental and critical declarations come to my mind.

“Watching television shows is mindless.”
“Playing Farmville or Facebook games is mindless.”
“Scarfing down potato chips and reading Star magazine is mindless.”
“Chatting for hours with a group of friends about inconsequential topics is mindless.”