Personal Growth Planet Blog

Just about everyone I know is overcommitted and has a difficult time saying “no.”

It seems to be the American way to agree to whatever request (or demand) is thrown our way– and then complain about, resent and feel powerless to whatever it is we felt compelled to say “yes” to in the first place.

It all comes down to a desire, perhaps even a desperate need, to please.

Even the most non-conforming individuals among us want to be liked. While there are those who may not comfortably admit it, just about everyone has a need to feel loved and accepted (even if it’s on our terms, in specific sub-cultures and in our own unique ways).

As a child, I dreamed of being a Country & Western singer (I don’t even know if such a musical category still exists today). I would sing as I did my chores, sing as I walked to school and sing every other moment I could.  I even had a stage name picked out for myself– it was Dusty Rose, I think.

I’m not sure if my elementary school-aged self really believed that one day I would be a professional singer, but it was certainly an enchanting dream. As I got older, my aspirations for what I wanted to be changed.

“Freedom ain’t a state like Maine or Virginia
Freedom ain’t across some county line
Freedom is a flame that burns within ya
Freedom’s in the state of mind”– Peter Udell, “Shenandoah”

There are days when I long for freedom.

I might feel chained to my computer on a warm Spring day. Or, maybe I’m craving travel to faraway places with no worries about the finances to pay for it, who will care for the pets, our home and if the rest of my family would enjoy the places I’d like to visit.

Last weekend I went to see Tim Burton’s new movie “Alice in Wonderland,” based on the classic novel. It was a visual delight and was also filled with intriguing and expansive messages.

Alice quotes her beloved father and declares, “Sometimes, I have believed as many as 6 impossible things before breakfast.”

What if we each were to start out the day by NOT listing off all of the things we need to get done? |

Rather than writing down the home chores, errands, work projects and other miscellany that I need to accomplish before this day ends, what if, instead, I dreamed up and actually believed 6 (or more) impossible things?

By Amy Phillips-Gary

Are you uncomfortable or even resistant to receiving?

During this time of year in which gifts are often exchanged, are you most focused in on the giving?

It’s quite likely that you are. When I think about giving and receiving, giving comes out as somehow more important in my mind.

We tend to live in a culture skewed against receiving.

“It’s better to give than to receive.” was probably taught to most of us growing up in our families, churches or schools. The stigma of those enrolled in low-income public assistance programs is still present today– what about those proverbial bootstraps we’re all supposed to pull ourselves up by?

By Amy Phillips-Gary

Change is inevitable.

Change happens all of the time, every single day for each of us. No matter how boring and predictable we think our lives are, we-- along with everyone else-- are in constant flux.

Time passes. We get older. Seasons change and the Earth evolves.

In our day-to-day lives, changes are happening too-- on mundane levels as well as those more radical.

We finish one project at work and move on to another one. We make career changes; we end marriages or relationships and we eventually fall in love again.

By Amy Phillips-Gary

Have you ever been so close to having the job, relationship, car, vacation, or whatever it is that you want but something happens that seems to prevent you from actually having that desire come into fruition?

What is it that blasted thing or person that’s standing in between you and what you want?

When I’ve been in such a place, I sometimes delude myself into thinking that it’s another person or some outside force that is the spoiler.