Personal Growth Planet Blog

What does your inner fire feel like to you? It’s different for us all.

There are definite sensations in the body, mind and spirit.

My inner fire feels like wide awake, energized, excited about whatever I am doing, pumped up, full of ideas, fully alive and open to possibility. It might not last too long, but those fiery moments are intense and uplifting.

The whole notion of “inner fire” might initially seem trite or cliche, but it’s absolutely essential. Think about a life of dullness, boredom, apathy, no feeling and nonexistent drive.

I recently read about one woman’s challenge to not look at herself in a mirror for a full year. Kjerstin Gruys, a sociologist, wants women to re-think body image and to question portrayals of women’s beauty in the media.

What made this challenge even more daunting is that Gruys planned and prepared for her own wedding during this year of no mirrors. Gruys and her fiance were married recently, by the way.

While I applaud the statement that Gruys is making with her year of no mirrors, I have to wonder…

Is the mirror really the problem after all?

What does accepting– even loving– your body have to do with what really matters in life? Why is feeling beautiful important anyway?

After all, wars are being waged, people are losing their jobs, people are starving and suffering, the Earth is changing in many worrisome and scary ways…

Aren’t those the really important things?

When I get all caught up in feeling less than lovely, I start to feel embarrassed. It seems somewhat narcissistic and self-obsessed for me to be stressing out and consumed by my negative perceptions of how I think my body looks.

The wave rushes in, covering my feet in cool wet. As the water recedes, it takes with it sand– some of which I was just standing on. The sensation of ocean sand shifting beneath my feet is pretty amazing. When I stare down at the water-sand-flesh action going on, I sometimes feel dizzy and sway a little bit.

On my recent vacation, I thoroughly enjoyed feeling the sand shift beneath my feet as the cold Pacific Ocean moved water and sand in and out with the waves.

What a simple, natural phenomenon such as this offers me is a lesson in groundlessness.

I’m learning to appreciate the curves
…of my body.

The lumps, the bumps, the peaks, valleys
and the rough places too.

This curvy, shapely, not-thin body of mine
is rounded and full of past, present and future.

It speaks of pain, joy, shame, ecstasy, birth and life.

It tells tales of first touches– some rough and painful, others tender and sweet.

Have you ever had a double exposed moment? Perhaps it feels like you’re living a double exposed life!

“Double exposure” is a technique used by some photographers. The result is the superimposing of two images on top of– or to the side of– one another. It is usually done intentionally to gain a particular effect. Pretty cool art!

There are far too many times in my own life when I feel as if I am having a double exposed* moment. It is as if I am speaking and reacting to some person or situation from the past and NOT speaking and responding to what’s going on right here and now.

The 4th of July is an important date in the history of the United States. It marks the anniversary of our founders adopting the Declaration of Independence. This was the date when it was officially declared that this collection of states (former colonies) were now a free and independent country.

Setting aside the fact that on July 4, 1776 not every person living in what was becoming the United States of America was truly free…

I’m going to talk about what freedom doesn’t mean to me and also what it does mean to me…

The word “unconditional” is thrown around quite a bit. It is often assumed that parents love their children unconditionally. Lovers are expected to love one another unconditionally. To boost self esteem, a person is encouraged to accept him or herself unconditionally.

I don’t know about you, but truly accepting or even loving unconditionally is not as easy as it sounds.

If any of us are completely honest with ourselves, we’d probably discover that there’s not a whole lot of unconditional loving or accepting going on.

“…Anger can improve health, enhance intimacy, further social justice and spur creativity,” proclaimed the author of a recent Ode Magazine* article.

No Way!

At least that was my initial reaction to reading this statement.

In my experience and in my mind, anger destroys intimacy, is dangerous for a person’s health and stands in the way of creativity. In my mind, anger equals aggression, either overt and in your face or passive and seething just beneath the surface.

Okay, okay, I’ll admit it…

There is not one way to be empowered. There are countless ways.

There really aren’t “right” and “wrong” ways to be empowered either.

But…

There are many, many ways that a lot of us spend our precious time and energy that are flat out dis-empowering and we don’t often realize it.

I’ve been listening to a fabulous collection of audios by Buddhist nun Pema Chodron*. If you are turned off by either (or both) the words “Buddhist” or “nun,” give this a listen anyway. Chodron’s teachings are accessible, easily relatable and for anyone regardless of religious or spiritual beliefs.