Personal Growth Planet Blog

I can vividly remember my mother storming into the Skate-A-Way roller rink in her bright red “toreador” pants when I was late walking out to the parking lot. We’d agreed that I’d be outside ready to go at 9pm, but I often lost track of time– maybe intentionally, maybe not.

She’d get frustrated waiting and finally come in to get me. I still think she purposely chose to wear her most outlandish clothes on those nights, those that would be the most embarrassing to a young teenager longing to be popular.

“Oh mother!” I would scowl.

What Would Jesus See?

Over the weekend there were several moments when I knew.

I participated in Martha Creek’s “Journey Within” workshop and it was amazing (to put it mildly). Emotional, intense, uplifting, opening, liberating and so much more.

The weekend consisted of one exercise after another that encouraged the other women and I who took part to really hone in on our habitual ways of thinking and being and to explore what it might be like to be free…

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.”
~Rumi

I imagine this field that Rumi refers to.

I see it as this sunny, peaceful space where flowers are always in bloom, birds sing and everyone lives in harmony.

Fully visible is what lies beneath those heavy layers of judgment, criticism, blaming, superiority, ignorance, fear and hatred that we all are blanketed by from time to time.

We can be our best selves and and can see the best in others.

But, is this field a practical possibility in everyday life?

Are you looking for a life that sparks and sizzles in all the best ways?

Each of us has different preferences– some like things “hotter” than others– but it seems that the human condition is to want interesting and maybe even thrilling experiences and relationships.

Unfortunately, it’s common for people to mostly feel bored and listless about their daily lives. We yearn for more from life, don’t believe that we’re getting that “more” and this can lead to disappointment or even harmful and self-defeating habits.

Tis the season. Lots and lots of folks are crowding shopping malls, surfing the net and busily crafting the perfect gifts for loved ones.

There’s so much that’s wonderful about giving.

The thoughtful and creative gift that you make or buy can be one way to show others how important they are to you. The money, food, coats and gloves that you give to non-profit organizations go a long way to help those whose very survival might depend on the generosity of strangers.

Without a doubt, giving is beautiful and spreads joy and benevolence.

I recently read about one woman’s challenge to not look at herself in a mirror for a full year. Kjerstin Gruys, a sociologist, wants women to re-think body image and to question portrayals of women’s beauty in the media.

What made this challenge even more daunting is that Gruys planned and prepared for her own wedding during this year of no mirrors. Gruys and her fiance were married recently, by the way.

While I applaud the statement that Gruys is making with her year of no mirrors, I have to wonder…

Is the mirror really the problem after all?

What does accepting– even loving– your body have to do with what really matters in life? Why is feeling beautiful important anyway?

After all, wars are being waged, people are losing their jobs, people are starving and suffering, the Earth is changing in many worrisome and scary ways…

Aren’t those the really important things?

When I get all caught up in feeling less than lovely, I start to feel embarrassed. It seems somewhat narcissistic and self-obsessed for me to be stressing out and consumed by my negative perceptions of how I think my body looks.

I’m learning to appreciate the curves
…of my body.

The lumps, the bumps, the peaks, valleys
and the rough places too.

This curvy, shapely, not-thin body of mine
is rounded and full of past, present and future.

It speaks of pain, joy, shame, ecstasy, birth and life.

It tells tales of first touches– some rough and painful, others tender and sweet.

The word “unconditional” is thrown around quite a bit. It is often assumed that parents love their children unconditionally. Lovers are expected to love one another unconditionally. To boost self esteem, a person is encouraged to accept him or herself unconditionally.

I don’t know about you, but truly accepting or even loving unconditionally is not as easy as it sounds.

If any of us are completely honest with ourselves, we’d probably discover that there’s not a whole lot of unconditional loving or accepting going on.

The Beatles sang it so memorably–  “Money can’t buy me love.” It is possible that every one of us has had a moment in which we realized that money and material possessions cannot bring us the love and happiness for which we may have been longing.

Perhaps it was when you saved and saved for a newer model car or a larger home and, once that goal was reached, you felt a twinge of disappointment. The angst or the unhappiness that you felt before was still there– even if you were pleased with the purchase (however big or small).