15 Cures for a Lousy, No-Good Day
It can start with a knick while shaving, coffee spilling on your clean clothes or someone cutting you off in traffic.
Your lousy, no-good day can seem like an unending, downward spiral of irritations, annoyances, bad news and maybe a crisis or two thrown in as well.
If you’re having that kind of day (week, month or lifetime) try this…
#1: Have a 3 minute “pity party.”
C’mon, you know you want to. When nothing is going right, many of us feel sorry for ourselves. Yes, embarrassing, but it’s actually a pretty normal reaction. The trick is not to get stuck in a “poor me” mindset because this won’t improve your day.
Set a timer for 3-5 minutes and have at it. Dive into those self-pitying thoughts and let them surface with full force. When the timer buzzes, make a conscious shift and do something different.
#2: Let it out.
Frustration, helplessness, anger, irritation and more. These are all natural feelings that may accompany your lousy day. If you’re going to get past this, you’ve got to let those feelings out.
This is different from tip #1. A “pity party” centers on your thoughts and beliefs about whatever is going on. Your feelings are a related, but unique, layer. Allow that layer of feelings to flow in the way it needs to. This might mean you have a cleansing cry or you find a private space where you can yell and stomp your feet.
#3: Ask yourself, “What do I need emotionally?”
The question, “What do I need” is powerful. You can often ease any difficulty by figuring out what you need. Get specific and focus in on what your emotional needs might be at this moment.
You may need to feel supported, respected, loved, cared about, safe or something else. Go deeper than the facts of whatever has made your day so awful and identify what your emotional needs are.
#4: Ask yourself, “What do I need physically?”
Don’t ignore your physical needs. Lack of sleep, dehydration, hunger, headache or other physical aches and pains can all have a significant effect on how you deal with challenges that come up in your day.
Identifying what your needs are requires you to take a moment to tune in to you. Especially if everything feels chaotic and overwhelming, pause and check in with yourself. Figure out what your needs are. Keep an open mind, because your needs aren’t always going to be the same.
#5: Fulfill (at least) one of your current needs.
After identifying your emotional and physical needs, take steps to fulfill at least one of them. If it doesn’t feel convenient to stop what you are doing for a full meal or a nap, come up with an alternative that will fit the constraints of the moment and will begin to meet your need.
Grab a healthy snack to eat as you work. Pause to change the course of your thinking. Do whatever it takes to move you closer to getting your needs met.
#6: Problem solve.
Take out a blank piece of paper and free write about your day. You might need to express emotions and do some of that “pity party-ing” mentioned earlier. Invite yourself to also problem solve as you write.
Focus on one perceived problem at a time and brainstorm as many possible solutions as you can think of. Don’t stop to second guess yourself or determine exactly how it might work out. For now, just write down any and all options that you can imagine.
When you’re done, look over your list and circle those that feel doable and that you might want to act upon.
#7: Listen to music that moves you.
Don’t underestimate the power of music. It can soothe, heal, bring you to tears, stir your passions, get you off the couch and dancing and much, much more.
Play whatever kind of music calls to you. The idea here is to not only break the momentum of your lousy day, but also to help you release your angst and shift into an improved mood.
I created a playlist on my mp3 player that I’ve titled “uplift.” I included songs that I find comforting, nourishing and hopeful. Especially if I’m having a stressful day, having a ready-to-go playlist allows me to simply put in my ear buds, go for a walk and let the music move me.
#8: Intentionally live in the moment.
There is no better time to practice living in the present moment than when you are having a bad day. What tends to happen when difficulties arise– especially a series of difficulties– is that the past takes over.
The argument you had with your spouse spills over into your interactions with your boss. You bring that intensified irritation to your lunch with your sister and then all of that combined tension and annoyance along as you pick up your kids from school.
That’s a whole heap of negativity!
Remind yourself of what moment you are currently in. There may be unresolved issues to be discussed with your spouse when you two are home together later, but that’s not right now. Be in the here and the now and live there.
#9: Move your body.
You don’t have to be athletic to reap the releasing benefits of moving your body. It can be convenient to pop into the gym and run on the treadmill or lift weights to shift your mood on a lousy day.
But, this isn’t a requirement.
Incorporate tip #7 and put on music that you can’t sit still to and dance. Jump around and get your heart pumping. This is a sure way to bring some improvement to your day.
#10: Take a nap.
“Sleep on it” is a familiar saying when a big decision is being considered. Sometimes, napping can be a helpful cure for a no-good day too.
While it’s not advisable to rely on sleep or another form of numbing out to avoid the challenges going on, rest can be very helpful. After even a short nap, you can meet whatever is going on with renewed freshness and clarity.
#11: Read a comforting or uplifting book or quote.
There is probably at least one book that really spoke to you at one point in your life. If you own that book, you could insert some post-it notes on the pages that really wow you and warm your heart. This is one place to go when you are trying to survive a horrible day.
Today, so many of us are blessed with access to the internet. Online there is a wealth of websites with famous quotes and also book reviews. Search whatever keywords most resonate for you at the time and take 10 minutes to read through quotes or excerpts from books.
#12: Laugh.
Laughter is not just for happy times. If you can genuinely find a degree of lightness and levity and bring that to your difficult situation, it can be positively transformational– and stress releasing too!
Check out this YouTube video if you need help getting your laugh on: Enlightening Subway Ride
#13: Breathe.
One thing that tends to happen when stress, conflict or unexpected obstacles come up is that our breathing constricts. It’s as if we’re tensing, tightening and defending against whatever seems to be crashing in and we use the breath as part of that self-defense.
Unfortunately, this is probably the worst thing to do.
Remind yourself to breathe– deeply, slowly and from your abdomen. This will help you calm down, see more clearly and make decisions that will allow you to move more easily through the difficulty.
#14: Meditate.
The great thing about meditation is that you don’t need a huge amount of time or a membership or special equipment. You can do it literally anywhere– except while you are operating a vehicle or heavy machinery of course.
With some practice, you can even sit in a loud and crowded room and meditate. On a lousy day, meditation will certainly help you turn things around. It is a game-changer and definitely a relaxing and soothing gift for yourself.
#15: Take a new view.
Ultimately, you’ll be able to almost instantly shift into a more positive place about your difficult day if you can change your perspective. When you intentionally adopt a new view of the place where you stand and everything that is going on, then the “no-good” seems less horrible and insurmountable.
In fact, with this new view, you can often see new possibilities that the difficulties are opening up for you. This is where the amazing comes in…even on a lousy day.
