It’s Got That “New Year” Smell
I didn’t plan on purchasing a brand new car at the start of this new year, but this is what has happened. I’m grateful for my well-being after a car wreck that totaled my old car and also for the ability to purchase a new car.
You may have never owned a brand new car, but perhaps you’ve ridden in one. You know that smell? It’s a sort of rubber-fabric-plastic smell that you encounter in a new car (possibly due to some hideous chemicals that, frankly, I don’t want to think about).
There is something about that smell that signals new-ness and gives me a bit of thrill. It’s as if anything is possible in this new car.
I often feel the same way when we move into a brand new year. It’s not got a smell, necessarily, but it’s surely got a feel. I crack open a new calendar and hang it on my wall. We watch the glittering ball drop at midnight, kiss one another and usher in another year. There is the distinct feeling that I’m embarking on something uncharted and full of potential and that is exciting to me.
This is the time when many of us set resolutions. After all, what better time to make life changes and improvements than a brand new year with all of that possibility and fresh-ness about it?
The trouble is this…
We make resolutions for this brand new year, yet we bring to the new year our old selves. Regardless of what the calendar says, we tend to get entrenched in our habitual ways of being and that’s what we carry with us into a new year.
These might be our ways of eating, not exercising, dealing with stress, spending money, communicating with people we love and more.
We have the best of intentions in this brand spanking new year and that can give us the momentum to change our habits, but it doesn’t always stick. After a few weeks (days or hours) we’re back to what we know– to what feels comfortable and maybe even safe.
So…
Is it even possible to make significant and long-lasting changes or is this resolution thing a futile effort?
Yes, I believe, it IS possible!
But, each of us needs to truly open up to the changes we seek. We’ve got to find a way to bring the new from within instead of imposing it from the outside. This starts with finding some sense of peace with where we are even as we nudge ourselves to be or do something different and new.
Set yourself up to succeed.
Often, when a resolution fizzles out, it can be traced back to the way it was created. If, for example, I am self-critical, fearful, punitive or shaming in my motivation to make a change, it’s likely that I am not going to last long on this new path.
It might sound like….
“This year, I’m going to stop wasting money.”
“I’m going to finally stop eating junk and lose those extra 30 pounds.”
“I will get my lazy butt to the gym so that I can look decent in a swimsuit this summer.”
The fear, criticism, shame and more will override what I’m trying to change. This is bringing my old tired beliefs in and squashing the new-ness I’m attempting to cultivate.
It doesn’t work and will sabotage success every single time.
Pay attention to the way that you frame resolutions. Phrase and think about them in affirmative ways. Make sure to set doable, incremental resolutions too. If an intention feels overwhelming or impossible, break it down into more manageable parts.
Support yourself on the way to change.
You can also set yourself up for success by giving yourself plenty of support for whatever change you want to bring into your life.
By the way, not sticking with your resolution does not have to be labeled “failure.” Sometimes the most successful thing a person can do is to really learn from not attaining a goal. It’s not necessarily desired, but it can be a way to uncover blocks and and inner obstacles that need to be removed so that the goal– or a new goal– can be achieved.
What it means to give yourself support can vary. It might be reaching out to others for encouragement and pats on the back. It could be patting yourself on the back as you move closer and closer to where you want to be. It may be bolstering yourself in other areas of your life so that you can be better able to make the change.
Celebrate your steps along the way because that’s where you get positive motivation. This is also where the richness of growth comes in. It truly isn’t about the end result– even though the desired end result is pleasant. Remember, joy and fulfillment come from being present and positively engaged with the journey along the way.
