A Case for Fun and Frivolity
You might not think of the culture here in the U.S. as devoid of fun and frivolity, but I think that it is. Look around and you might see all kinds of people doing all kinds of things that seem light and jovial…but, if you look a closer, this isn’t necessarily the case.
You see, there’s a huge difference between truly having fun and merely numbing out through entertainment.
Many of us seem to live in this impossible contradiction of wanting to do something important and valuable with our lives but then craving some outlet or sense of escape.
We feel caught.
We turn to activities that appear to be fun– that would seem to promise us a relaxing, good time– yet, few of us are actually enjoying our lives. We engage in frivolity; we attempt to entertain ourselves and relax and we mostly feel guilty, dull and lifeless about what we’re doing.
There is a high value placed on effort, achievement and a hard work ethic in this culture and none of those seem to allow space for fun and certainly not frivolity, hence the impossible trap we find ourselves in.
You can’t put a monetary sense of worth on fun and the very word “frivolous” is defined as “self-indulgent” and “trifling.” In my own mind, there is an impracticality to having fun. Being frivolous seems to me like something that’s only okay on special occasions like my birthday, for example.
I assert (to myself and to you) that fun and frivolity are absolutely essential to living a valuable life that is also marked by achievement and success. I maintain that without fun and frivolity, any effort will be vast in comparison to what is gained. That hard work ethic will be a sisyphean existence of pushing the boulder up the mountain again and again and again.
There doesn’t have to be a contradiction between having fun and accomplishing your goals. In fact, when you give yourself permission for both fun and frivolity, you’re more likely to exceed your goals, achieve new ones you’d never imagined before and enjoy yourself while doing them.
This is the life you’ve got, don’t you want to have fun with it?
Are you ready for some fun and frivolity in your life?
#1: Make room in your life and your rules for fun.
If you’re over-scheduled and rarely make time for a bubble bath or massage, re-think your life. Even if it’s only 10 minutes to throw the frisbee to your dog in the backyard, set aside that time. Open up space in your calendar to do something (regularly) that is fun and possibly even completely impractical.
If you recoil at the thought of taking your precious time for something frivolous, challenge your own rules. Ask yourself the question, “Why not?” more often. Think back to a time in your life when you did something truly for the fun of it and remember how relaxing it felt.
You might even research the many health benefits of having fun and letting loose. Endorphins are released and so is stress. High blood pressure lowers and your immune system gets a boost.
#2: Re-discover what’s fun for you.
If you’re out of touch with what’s fun for you, start exploring. Open up to new activities that appeal to you– especially those that you’ve said “no” to in the past because they seemed impractical or even irresponsible.
You can maintain your career edge and continue caring for your children and home all the while you discover new (or old) ways to care for yourself by amping up your life enjoyment.
Recently, I went out dancing with my husband and other family members. We wore silly light-up headbands and danced and jumped around to music we hadn’t heard in a long time. It was a fabulous night!
Whatever activity you try, the most important thing to do is to fully participate. If you hold back or you criticize yourself for taking the time, money or energy to do this frivolous thing you are doing, there will be little or no beneficial effects.
#3: Make ANY situation more fun.
One great side-effect of allowing yourself to regularly have fun is that it makes even annoying or difficult situations easier. Something that used to be excruciatingly boring or irritating to you can actually shift and– with an attitude of fun– can feel like no big deal or even a good time.
A friend of mine talked about standing in a giant line at a big toy store during the big “Black Friday,” day after Thanksgiving sales. I’ve stood in lines like this on “Black Friday” and they can most certainly be trying on everyone’s patience.
What my friend did, however, was to infuse some fun into the moment.
She made a difficult situation tolerable and even enjoyable by starting to sing Christmas carols. As you might expect, pretty soon those around her couldn’t help but join in with the singing and merriment. There was a lot of laughter and I have no doubt that my friend– and plenty of other people around her– had a better time waiting in those lines that day than they otherwise would have had.
#4: Open up to the creative and solution-oriented bursts that accompany fun.
Another fabulous benefit to making time for fun in your life is the expansion you’ll experience. It is clear to me that when I face a problem that seems to have few options and no answers that I like, a new approach to the problem helps.
What better way to encourage creativity, openness and a wider perspective than being relaxed and more at ease. One great way to relax and be at ease is to have some fun.
Of course, if you’re stressed out, this requires you to temporarily set aside the problem and dive into the fun activity whole-heartedly and with focus. Try it and see what happens.
Step away from your checkbook, your desk and your thoughts about whatever the problem is for you at the moment. If time is tight, set aside a specific period of time for something fun. This might be running through sprinklers with your child. It could be going to a comedy movie with friends. It might be swinging at a playground as high as you can go.
Whatever occurs to you as a fun thing to do, do it.
When you return to whatever was troubling you before, meet it with that sense of relaxation and frivolity still active within you. Allow yourself to come to new solutions or a renewed creativity riding that wave of fun.
