Moving from Double Exposed to Inspired in the Now
In last week’s blog post, I described what a double exposed moment or life is like and I laid out some of the potential hazards of this (usually) unconscious reaction.
Those double exposed moments are when the past and present fuse together in a weird and sometimes painful amalgam in the mind.
They literally alter a person’s experiences. The reactions that come from this confusing fusion can be anger or defensiveness that doesn’t seem to fit the situation or could involve an emotional withdrawal or shutting down.
The effects to a person’s relationships and ability to attain goals can be negative.
Last week, I repeated the question posed by Joe Vitale and Ihaleakala Hew Len, in their book Zero Limits: “Are you living from memory or from inspiration?”
It’s very clear to me that when I am in a double exposed mode, I am living from memory.
This can happen when I meet a person for the first time and, because he or she reminds me of someone from my past, I form a split-second judgment that has nothing to do with this stranger.
Living a double exposed life is definitely habitual. In a trigger and a snap, the mind can go off to places far, far from the present moment.
This leads to all kinds of contention, distance, disconnection, pain and loneliness.
As I encouraged last week, the very first step is to recognize it when you’re perspective of a situation or another person is double exposed and is coming from memory.
Do this with self-love and an intention to take a new perspective.
If you’re anything like me, you probably already know that you can intend to take a new perspective of a situation and to stop living in the past…but it’s not as easy to actually do.
This is why making completions and releasing the past are so important and so freeing.
Release the past.
The very idea of releasing your past might feel uncomfortable and scary, even if it’s something you can see the value in doing. Let me clarify that when you release the past, you aren’t inducing some form of amnesia. You aren’t ignoring or banishing to the recesses of your mind the vital events and experiences that have helped to make you who you are today.
Whether you label them “good,” “bad” or some mix of the two, your past has brought you to this point where you stand today and where you embark upon further growth and expansion.
The thing is, you just can’t see the possibilities that are right here for you and that support the growth you want if your focus is on the past and if you are reacting to life from memory.
When you think about your past, I’m betting that a few big memories rush right to the forefront of your mind. Think about those dominant memories you might have that could be painful or difficult for you. It’s highly likely that it is these memories that come into your present moment when you are in a double exposed kind of mode.
Making completions with these events and memories can free you up to live more of the time from inspiration.
When you make a completion, it is somewhat like making peace with some challenging experience you had in the past (even one that happened not so long ago). This can be a ritual or another action. Your completion may involve forgiving yourself or another person and it could include reaching some resolution that has been a long time in coming.
Keep in mind that whatever completion you make, this is for YOU. It is not about putting someone who hurt you in his or her place. It’s not about getting revenge. It’s not about how any other person views your completion action.
The aim of a completion is to help you move on.
If the ritual or action you have in mind is going to leave you feeling more tied down by the past, you might consider either a series of completions that will allow you to gradually move from where you are to more peace OR choose a completely different ritual or action.
The outcome might not be clear to you initially, so continue to pay attention to how you feel. In what direction are you moving? Does this feel mostly like a release or mostly like sticking yourself more deeply into the past?
I have written in a journal, have burned symbols of my past in a bonfire and have taken a self-defense and empowerment classes. These were all ways that I made some completions with particular aspects of my past that seemed to be holding me back.
Let yourself be inspired by the now.
When you make a completion, your perspective of life might not radically change too much. You may be tempted to react in habitual (and past-oriented) ways and you may still react from the past.
Use the momentum that making a completion can bring and stay aware of your tendencies. When you feel triggered, pause before you speak or act. I’ve recommended pausing before and I’m doing it again.
If you’d like to live from inspiration in more of your relationships and in more situations, pause along the way. Give yourself the opportunity to deliberately develop a new, present-oriented habit. The benefits can be amazing.
Encourage yourself to stay open and greet each person– no matter how well you know him or her– as fresh and new. Remind yourself that you really don’t know what will come next and how things will turn out.
Allow yourself to learn from and appreciate the people and situations in your life. Open up to learning from and appreciating yourself too. This is the place where inspiration can be found and this is where you can focus in order to shift to a more inspired kind of life.
