Anger Is/Can Be a Creative Force
“…Anger can improve health, enhance intimacy, further social justice and spur creativity,” proclaimed the author of a recent Ode Magazine* article.
No Way!
At least that was my initial reaction to reading this statement.
In my experience and in my mind, anger destroys intimacy, is dangerous for a person’s health and stands in the way of creativity. In my mind, anger equals aggression, either overt and in your face or passive and seething just beneath the surface.
I can still remember how terrifying my father’s explosions of anger were when I was a young girl. They didn’t happen very often and were not directed against me, but they were frightening and left palpable impressions in my memory.
I can vividly recall how red-faced and furious my aunt’s husband would become at family gatherings. Even though I was a teenager and all caught up in my own life, I remember feeling embarrassed and concerned for his outbursts. His blood pressure must have shot through the roof!
In my family, anger just wasn’t done…until it burst forth when one of us could no longer hold it in.
These early experiences have contributed to my own “avoid-it-at-all-costs” relationship with anger. Even today, I can’t claim to have found an ease or peace with my anger, or the anger of others either.
Still, it is undeniable that anger happens.
Anger is an absolutely natural part of being a human being. It is an emotion and it is not good or bad. It just is.
I don’t think that I’m alone in automatically associating anger with “bad.” In addition to these early memories of people in my life periodically exploding in anger, there are countless images of aggressive and destructive anger on television, in the movies and books, not to mention those real-life experiences in the lives of people I know.
Anger seems to equal aggression time and time again.
So, how can anger be called “creative,” “healthy” and conducive to “intimacy?” The crucial difference, of course, is in how anger is handled and expressed. The Ode Magazine article makes it very clear that these benefits of anger are only possible when it is recognized and channeled in particular ways.
This is the potential and the challenge of anger.
When I feel angry, the last thing I generally do is consciously channel my anger. Most often, my anger is triggered, it gets inflamed and I am off in reaction mode.
When there is no conscious thought accompanying anger, it tends to grow and fly around out of control. When there is no conscious awareness of anger– or there is a denial of anger– the growth and possibility of aggression are even bigger.
Give yourself permission to be angry.
This is why allowing yourself to acknowledge your anger is vitally important. It’s there whether you like it or not. When it is present, your anger exists even if you have deemed it to be “bad” or “inappropriate.”
So, the next time someone asks you if you’re mad or upset, don’t just say “I’m fine” if you’re really not. Stay in touch with your own self. When you’re angry, be honest about it.
Remember that admitting that you are angry– even that you are angry about something someone else said or did– does NOT mean that you will lash out at that other person. Trust yourself with your own human emotions and take the time to care for your anger so that it can be expressed in ways that could actually benefit you and your relationships.
Get to the raw emotion.
One effective method for dealing with anger that I’ve learned from various teachers is to get beneath my thoughts and focus in on the raw emotion. This does require a certain presence and persistence, but the effects are worth the effort.
When I notice that I’m feeling angry, I also notice the thoughts that I am having about a situation, a person or my own self. I remind myself that these are just thoughts and that they might not even be true. I honor the way that I am feeling and I give most of my attention to my experience of anger.
I also remind myself to breathe. As with any intense moment, there is a tendency to tense up and flip into autopilot/reactive mode. This usually involves a shallow, strained breath.
In the midst of your anger, if you can only remind yourself to slow down and breathe, you’re undoubtedly going to move through the difficult moment more easily and in a more conscious way…and you reduce the chance that you’ll say or do something that you’ll later regret.
Channel your anger.
The more adept you get at focusing on the raw emotion and at giving yourself some internal room through the breath, the more you will be able to experience those creative possibilities with anger.
From here, you can channel your anger in pretty astounding ways.
Listen to what you feel called to do and choose some action that will help you express your anger AND possibly bring some benefit to the situation at the same time.
Paint, sing, dance, drum, write a poem, write a letter to your legislator, weed your garden, go for a run, bake bread, do something with all of that energy bubbling up within you. It doesn’t have to look, sound or even taste pretty. It’s the release that can be and lead to more creative expression.
In this space of release and creativity, the kind of connections and change that you might never have expected or thought possible might just happen too.
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* Diana Rico. “Prelude to Courage.” Ode Magazine 6/11: 20
