Preparing for the Best
First of all, I don’t know what– if anything different than the usual– will happen on Saturday, May 21st. What I do know is that we humans (no matter what our religious beliefs are) tend to prepare for the worst.
Whether it’s preparing for a “Judgment Day” in which our “sins” will be counted up and assessed, preparing for our country’s economy to go belly-up or even preparing for the ones we love to let us down and leave us…
We humans seem to have a propensity to steel ourselves for an inevitable, horrible, gut-wrenching, carpet-ripped-out-from-under-us kind of life.
If you google the words “worst case,” you’ll come up with around 61,500,000 results to peruse. There is an entire series of “worst case” survival books. Advice, tips and strategies for dealing with the absolute worst that can happen in any given situation run rampant across the internet, on the covers of magazines and in television programs as well.
Listen up in conversations you have with friends, family and acquaintances. I’m betting that some form of preparing for the worst is in there.
“If I lose my job….”
“If social security runs out…”
“She’ll fail if she…”
“He’ll lie like he always does…”
“They’ll let me down as usual…”
“I’ll screw up again, I’m sure…”
There may be some truth in statements like these and there might not be.
Preparing for the worst is all about projection and expectation. It is taking fears, worries, insecurities and past experiences, rolling them up with beliefs about our inherent value (or lack thereof) and what we deserve (or don’t) and then bracing ourselves in readiness for that eventuality– that may never ever come.
In the meantime, preparing for the worst has mostly made us more stressed out, more guarded and separate from others and less able to enjoy the lives we have right now. This tendency also throws us off-kilter and makes us even less able to deal with difficulties when they do show up in our lives.
I’m certainly human too. I have done my share of preparing for the worst. I have expected someone I love to let me down or leave. I have conjured up images of a future that was exactly opposite of what I truly desire.
I have kept myself guarded and on the ready for the “bad” stuff that may happen (or may not).
I know how literally sick preparing for the worst can make a person. I also know how counter-intuitive this way of living is.
So, instead, I regularly remind myself to prepare for the best. I try to catch myself when I am projecting and expecting heartache, destitution or world decline and I stop. I invite myself to make a shift.
Does this mean that I am a blind optimist or some sort of pollyanna?
I don’t think so.
It is far different to ignore very real conditions while wishing and hoping for some change– that inside I don’t really believe will happen– than it is to look at where I am and keep myself focused on where I want to go and on the kind of life experience I DO want to have.
When I prepare for the best, all that is going on outside me matters less than my commitment to live my life as happy and appreciatively as I possibly can.
This isn’t always easy, but the payoff is well worth the attention and practice required.
“Hear” yourself when you brace, tense up or ready for the worst.
As with any habit, preparing for the best takes practice and re-training yourself to actually do it. Recognize it when you talk, think or act in a way that is preparing for the worst– even if you are “just joking around.” (Our jokes quite often betray what we really believe.)
Stop and ask yourself if it is really necessary for you to brace for the impending mishap or doom that you are projecting.
Invite yourself to notice ALL of the possibilities that could happen in the situation you are expecting. By all means, take into account valuable and useful information AND also be sure to keep your field of vision wide open too.
Remember, when it comes to the unknown future (even the near future), literally anything can happen.
If you don’t believe this, think back to an experience you had that was vastly different than what you expected. This might have been the first time you had sex, received a shot at the doctor’s office, flew in an airplane or any number of new experiences.
The actual experience you had was possibly vastly different than what you expected.
This reminder can help you to know that what you expect does not always match up with what you experience. Your projection can be way off, so why stress yourself out and expend energy on an expectation that is only one of many?
When you allow room for a wide range of possibilities– maybe even a limitless number of possibilities– you can still have goals, dreams and visions for yourself. I’m encouraging you to prepare for the best as you contemplate your future.
Even alongside any persistent worries, devote attention to “what ifs” that are even better than your wildest dreams. Prepare for the best and then hone in on the possibilities that will bring it to you.
