Are You Living a Balanced Life?
I love balance. The image of the scales– for my zodiac sign, Libra– just seems so right. So harmonious, equal and fair. I’m all about things in life existing in perfect relationship to one another.
Perfect balance.
Aspiring to live a balanced life is really just common sense. We’ve all seen (and maybe felt) what having an excess of work can do to one’s personal life and body. We’ve all seen what an overabundance of recreation can do (one only needs to glance at the cover of tabloid magazines for ample examples of this).
Balance in one’s diet, lifestyle habits, work, leisure, amount of time focused on friends, family and lover– this is undoubtedly beneficial to leading a satisfied and healthy life.
If you’ve ever tried the yoga pose, tree, you probably felt how balanced– or not– you are. Placing one foot on the inside of the opposite leg and standing serenely breathing in and out, is not so easy or blissful when you can’t remain upright and balanced.
I have certainly had my share of tree pose experiences that were more like “fallen tree” instead of “lithe and grounded tree”.
I’ve also had more than my share of day-to-day life experiences that felt anything other than balanced. Those times when I felt off or somehow askew in my thinking or way of living were most definitely uncomfortable, painful and didn’t allow me to reach my goals.
Being in balance offers any of us a supportive foundation from which we can make decisions that are in alignment with our priorities.
Balance is a wonderful, valuable state…except when it’s misunderstood.
When balance goes awry.
It’s all too easy to use the whole notion of balance in ways that don’t serve anyone. When, for example, “balance” is just a pretty cover for compromise or abandoning one’s values, nobody wins.
Let’s say that you and your partner don’t see eye-to-eye on a particular issue. You know that your partner’s position is radically different from your own and you want to do whatever you can to head off an argument or conflict.
Re-gaining the balance in your relationship– at whatever cost– is enticing. It is powerful and important to also listen with an open heart to your partner’s point of view and intentionally look for resolutions that you might not have seen before.
However, pretending that you don’t have a differing opinion (when you actually do) is not going to restore balance and help you remain close to your partner. Being honest, open, creative and innovative will.
“Balance” can also be a way that you shut down your own desires. There are a whole lot of “rights,” “wrongs,” “shoulds” and “have tos” in the world. They vary depending on culture, community and family, but they are definitely there.
When you feel a genuine desire to be, do or have something and you’ve been taught that your desire is “bad” or “wrong,” you might be tempted to discount the desire by reasoning that it would not allow you to live a balanced life.
This is often the case when it comes to money or attaining a material possession, for instance. Of course, relying on money or objects as the means to your happiness will never bring true happiness. But, how many of us deny ourselves things because we believe that it is somehow more righteous or “balanced” to go without?
Denial stands in the way of real balance every time.
What balance can be for you.
What balance means to each person is different. We all have a set point and a comfort zone. These are the conditions of life– including body, work, relationship, fun and more– that, when they are in particular proportion to one another, we thrive.
We each can figure out what those proportions for thriving are for us.
By the way, “comfort zone” can be just as misconceived as “balance.” Being comfortable doesn’t have to mean that you’re stuck, stagnating or hiding from growth. Your comfort zone can be all about making sure your needs are being met so that you can continue to move forward, always expanding.
To discover what optimum balance means for you, become curious about yourself. Notice what helps you feel more vibrant and fully alive. What specific activities, practices and states of being allow you to relax and reach your goals with a sense of confidence and ease?
Keep a journal of these observations if that helps you become clearer. Make note of even the seemingly insignificant moments of balance. They are informative too.
The key here is to understand what balance means to you and really listen to yourself. If you tune out the chatter of all of those “shoulds” and “have tos” it’s going to be easier to hear.
Once you stumble upon something that brings you into balance in some way, keep doing it. Even as you change and grow, keep finding your balance. Revel in the harmony of being uniquely you.
