Reach for Your Life Savers
It seems counter-intuitive to write about the dark and low kind of places in life when Spring is just weeks away and the radiant light of the sun is beginning to make its way more frequently back into the Midwest skies.
But….
Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how bright and shiny it is outside, inside we still struggle. We still get depressed and feel as if we’re losing our grip. In those moments, we believe that things will never improve.
I have experienced my share of these periods of time. I have (and still do occasionally) had anxiety attacks and bouts of feeling dull and low and worthless.
While having good friends, loving family members or a skilled and caring professional for support help, I’ve found that to truly turn around a difficult and bleak situation, the propulsion up and out comes from within.
In the moment, times like these can feel life-threatening. Sometimes they literally are and other times they are only symbolically so– yet the sensation can be just as intense.
When I’ve been in such a place, I have felt helpless. I have felt desperate to be saved– for someone to come along and make everything okay again.
As well-meaning and as wise as those around me are, it always comes down to me. I am the one who ultimately needs to recognize that I am in a deep (and sometimes even destructive) hole and I am the one who is required to find that first hand-hold up and toward an improved state.
When I’ve made my way out of such a hole, it is usually because I have reached for life savers.
All kinds of things can seem like “life savers” at first glance and in those bleak times. Food, alcohol, drugs, the internet, sex, work and more can initially be pleasant diversions which appear to keep the pain at bay.
Once the high– in whatever form it comes– wears off, the darkness is still there. The distress is often even more debilitating.
True life savers come in various forms and they are different for each person. What they have in common is their ability to soothe, nurture, support, guide, comfort and aid in opening up.
They can be people who have had similar experiences and who share what worked for them. They can also be people who offer love, hugs and non-judgmental listening. They may be books, courses or recordings that teach strategies and techniques. They might be music, poetry, art, dance or anything else that is a balm for the soul.
Reach for what speaks to you and invites you to open.
The understandable reaction to depression, dullness or any form of heartbreak is to get protective and close down. The impulse to become small and compressed in your pain makes sense, in a way.
After all, what do any of us do if we are stung by a bee, burned by a hot splash of oil or cut by a piece of broken glass? We recoil and tend to our wound.
Notice it when you begin to recoil and close in on yourself. Gently and lovingly urge yourself to turn to those people, resources, activities and practices that help you feel even just a bit looser and less tight and taut.
Tend to your emotional wounds as you create space to receive the love, wisdom, inspiration, advice or guidance from your life savers. Watch yourself slowly open up to feeling better– even if it is just for a little while.
The absolutely vital thing that has to happen is for a person to reach. Reach for what soothes and nourishes. Reach for what uplifts and supports. Reach for what allows you to hear that part of you who knows the right answers for you and who is there to guide you.
No matter how down and out you feel, remember to reach.
