Let It Be
I tend to be a fixer.
If there’s some situation that seems– from my perspective– “off,” broken or not right, my impulse is to step in and find a solution. The sooner the better.
While I believe that there are valuable results to be had with a solution-oriented approach to life, it has significant drawbacks as well.
What is challenging and sometimes even excruciating for me is to just let it be.
I’ve blogged in the past about this propensity of mine. When a disagreement arises between me and a loved one, my reaction is usually to rush in and resolve the discord– even if rushing in means me forcing a discussion before everyone involved is ready for one.
The same thing often occurs when a condition or situation is not to my liking.
It happens when my sons are picking at one another. It happens when the sink is clogged or our car is malfunctioning. It happens when I feel worried or frightened by financial matters– either those of my family or my country.
I almost can’t keep still. It’s as if I will explode if I don’t do something about this unwanted and uncomfortable situation right this very minute.
And so, the wisdom of those well-known lyrics by The Beatles is so poignant and apt. There is great power in simply letting a situation– even one that is difficult and undesirable– be.
“When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me. Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.”
Ah, the promise of these words and the meaning behind them are sweet. Putting this into practice is not so easy.
This is my challenge and it could be yours too if you choose it…
When I feel the impulse to fix something, I ask myself what might happen if I just let it be.
I believe that there are many, many situations when letting it be will bring about phenomenal and positive results. Knowing this and actually doing it are vastly different.
My resistance to letting an unwanted situation be is that it can feel as if I’m condoning or supporting that unwanted thing.
If my sons are having a picking on one another kind of moment, the last thing I want to do is to give them the impression that I’m okay with this behavior. But, when I storm into the room demanding to know what’s going on and I throw out my solutions to their drama, I rob them of the opportunity to learn valuable lessons for themselves.
When I am able to recognize my discomfort at hearing their drama and I take a deep breath and wait instead of entering the fray, I give them the chance to unravel the discord on their own– in a way that is more authentic for each of them.
One dimension of the “let it be” practice is to determine what is my business and what is not.
If my sons were causing one another physical or emotional harm, then it IS my business as a parent to stop the violence. Thankfully, this is a rarity in my family. The vast majority of the time it truly is not my business to step in or solve their disputes. When I remember this and I let it be, they always find a way to find some resolution.
Letting it be involves surrender and trust.
There also occur those “bigger than me” kind of problems. Even though these situations are not going to be fixed by my rapid-fire meddling, I want to try anyway.
Sometimes leaping to action is absolutely necessary and brings beneficial results. Other times, it is merely an expenditure of energy and does little to nothing to bring an improvement.
Another resistance that I have to letting it be is that, as first, I feel helpless to the situation that I don’t like. Thus, the immediate action initially feels good. It is doing something, after all.
The drawback to action for the sake of action is that it’s usually ineffective and draining. It is the proverbial spinning of one’s wheels or banging one’s head up against the same wall over and over again.
It’s action, but is it really having any desired effects?
When I make the deliberate choice NOT to take action for the sake of action and I let it be, I essentially surrender. On some level, I throw up my hands and turn the whole thing over to the Universe, Source, God.
The act of surrendering and even giving up is actually stronger and potentially more empowering than it seems.
When I surrender, I am stopping my battle with what is. I maintain my intentions, my goals and my aspirations and, at the same time, I trust that this “bigger then me” situation is going to ease and somehow take me where I want to go.
As I surrender, I trust that this difficult situation will work out and, ultimately, I will be okay. The resolution may not look like exactly what I had in mind, but it’s going to be in my best interests.
Letting it be in this way is not denial and it’s not playing victim. It is me staying in touch with my center and keeping alive my dream even in the midst of apparent adversity.
