Your Ego Is Not Your Enemy…
…It’s not necessarily your best friend either!
I don’t know of a single philosophy that deems the ego to be all that positive a thing.
We’ve all probably heard someone (maybe even ourselves) called “egotistical” or being accused of having a “big ego.” This is never meant as a compliment.
Many spiritual teachings counsel us to meditate, question and do whatever is necessary to get rid of the ego.
The reasoning is that it is the ego that causes us to cling to our beliefs (and deem ourselves to be “right”); it is the ego that makes us walk around feeling separate; it is the ego that leads us to act in ignorant, vain, greedy and hateful ways; and it is the ego that ultimately causes us– and others– to suffer.
Even though Freud identified the Ego as that dimension of the human psyche that mediates between the pleasure-driven, impulse-inducing Id and the critical, moralizing Super-Ego, part of its purpose was to satisfy those Id urges.
In more casual usage, it seems that Freud’s conception of the Ego has morphed a bit into what he described as the Id. In this article, I am following the more casual usage and understanding.
It is rare to hear anybody out there proclaiming that the ego is all that beneficial to personal growth or to creating a happy, peaceful and healthy life.
But, I would like us to back up and re-think this whole ego thing. Regardless of your philosophy or beliefs about this topic, I think that we all can agree that the ego is one dimension of each of us. In that case, is it really in our best interests to essentially wage war on or attempt to eradicate the ego?
What are the ramifications of declaring (or insinuating) a part of our own selves to be the enemy, the “bad guy” or the demon that sits on one shoulder steering us down the wrong path?
Accept and love ALL of you…even your ego.
I believe that in order to be the kind of people that each of us wants to be (whatever that means to you and to me), we absolutely have to learn how to accept and love ourselves. I’m talking about you cultivating complete and total love for all of you.
This includes the ego.
Until each of us can embrace and find a way to offer love and perhaps even appreciation for even those parts of ourselves that we sometimes cringe about, we will not find peace within ourselves and with one another.
Yes, it is beneficial to notice the habits that we have that mostly cause us pain and angst and then make conscious choices to develop new habits. At the same time, it is far more difficult to do this noticing and conscious choosing when we’re so busy segmenting ourselves into rigid categories and dichotomous delineations– parts to keep and parts to eradicate.
When, instead, we meet the ego with love, we soften and are usually freer to be more deliberate and mindful about what we say, how we act and how we are.
Learn from your ego…but don’t be dictated by it.
We can actually learn valuable things from our ego. In fact, you might say that it is the ego that allows us to vividly envision our wildest dreams and yearnings. In its cravings for attention and adoration, the ego also nudges us to step into the proverbial spotlight and shine.
Neither of these are necessarily bad or undesirable!
This doesn’t mean that it’s wise to always and immediately do whatever the ego has a craving to do. At some time or another, we’ve all probably acted from an ego-impulse that was driven by fear, lack, prejudice or low self-esteem and it probably didn’t turn out very well.
Yet, when we’re so busy reining in the ego, we cut ourselves off from important information. We dull the spark and zest for life that is in there– if only we’d hear it. We keep our unique talents and gifts (which each and every one of us has) hidden away for fear of making too big of a deal of ourselves.
What if, instead, we actually listened to what ego has to say? What if we considered ego’s urges first before instantly rejecting them as something merely coming from the “detestable” ego?
Maybe your (and my) ego deserves a second chance.
Open up and listen to what you’re being pulled from within to be and do. Take a moment to really feel into yourself and then decide whether or not it’s something you want to follow up on. Above all, start loving yourself, all of yourself…even your ego.
Comment from bet365 italia
Time October 18, 2010 at 11:26 am
hello!This was a really admirable theme!
I come from milan, I was fortunate to search your topic in digg
Also I get a lot in your theme really thanks very much i will come daily