Becoming Amphibious
I never thought that I’d aspire to be a frog, but, that’s exactly what I’m aiming for right now in my life.
I listened to a wonderful online presentation recently about the importance of meditation, mindfulness and contemplation. During it, Daron Larson, the Buddhist teacher who presented this information, talked about the benefits of becoming amphibious.
Hearing this rich analogy inspired me to consider the many advantages to being able to adapt to the changeable and widely diverse situations that arise in life.
As you probably already know, put very simply, to be amphibious is to be able to survive in both the water and on land.
Most frogs– and some other animals as well– start out biologically equipped to thrive in aquatic environments and then, as they mature and grow, they transition to breathing air and living on land. There are also some amphibious animals who retain the ability to both live in the water and outside of it.
Here’s what our amphibious creature friends can teach us…
When life pulls the rug out from under your feet, as it tends to do occasionally, you don’t have to be devastated by whatever has just happened.
When it becomes painfully evident that your usual ways of handling a challenging situation are just not working, you can make a shift and devise an alternative.
When you look around at yourself and your life and you realize that you aren’t anywhere close to where you want to be, you can choose a new path and re-invent who you are.
These are the gifts of being like the frog.
As you learn how to be amphibious, you can more easily adapt to the inevitable changes that will arise in your life. You will probably find yourself more flexible and better able to open up to a new– and possibly very foreign– experience.
You can gain a deeper understanding of those situations and people that used to irritate you and “ruin” your day. You find yourself entering into creative collaborations with others in your family, office, community and world who previously seemed– to you– to come from a strange and backward planet.
As you become more and more amphibious, you free yourself to live more fully and, usually, more joyfully.
Isn’t there such a thing as being TOO flexible?
Those of us who have experienced abuse, who are accustomed to putting our own needs last or who are “pleasers” may resist this call to become amphibious.
After all, isn’t it possible to be TOO flexible and, therefore, not have healthy boundaries?
It’s certainly true that if you neglect your own inner wisdom, wants and needs in an effort to get along with others (at all costs) and keep the peace, you are short-circuiting all benefits of being flexible. In fact, that’s not flexibility, that’s just being a victim or martyr.
There can be no collaboration, understanding and especially no freedom if you always bend and shift without really tuning in to yourself first.
It is not just possible, it is a necessity for those of us who aspire to be amphibious to ALSO know and honor our boundaries and to maintain them.
The trouble is, it’s so easy to walk around constantly on guard against an perceived infringement of our boundaries (and our well being). So many people do this and they might not even realize it.
When your habitual way of being is guarded, defensive and rigidly protective of yourself and your boundaries, you simply can’t let anyone else in– no matter how loving, kind, wise and fun that person may be. You also can’t let in the multitude of experiences that can propel you to your goals and dreams when you are in this guarded place.
And, unfortunately, when you are constantly on guard, when those unexpected challenges arise, your experience is much more intense and painful…precisely because you keep yourself fixed and unwilling to move.
How to live like an amphibian.
A first step for anyone who want to be more frog-like and amphibious is to recognize it when you become defensive and rigid.
We all have specific situations that are triggering to us. Notice it when your stomach or fists clench and you feel yourself closing down to an idea before you’ve even really considered it. Sit up and take notice when you hear yourself declaring that there’s no alternative, no way or nothing that can be done about whatever is going on.
It might very well be that you cannot do anything about these particular circumstances you find yourself in– except to shift how you are experiencing them.
This is the root of being amphibious.
When you are amphibious, the external conditions of your life are less likely to dictate how you feel and what you do.
Your happiness and sense of well being are not dependent on whether or not your neighbor cleaned up his or her yard, your boss finally treats you with respect, your kids actually listen to you, your partner remembers your anniversary and any other myriad of things.
If, like me, you also aspire to be like the frog, newt, salamander, toad or even the seal and otter, practice bringing yourself back to the present moment. Breathe deeply when you are facing a change or unwanted situation that seems to cause you to tense up and become defensive.
Gently invite yourself to step just beyond the bounds you perceive and see how it feels. Chances are, you’ll want to keep expanding, shifting and growing.
