What if life really could be easy?
Do you tend to go through life feeling like you’re banging up against one brick wall after another?
I have certainly felt that way at times. It can seem as if I am slowly plodding along through my thigh-deep-in-mud kind of days.
Trying. to. get. ahead.
During those days, weeks or months in which setbacks and obstacles appear to be the norm, I long for life to be easy. I find myself asking, “Why can’t life be easy for once?”
The answer, of course, all comes down to me.
When my life isn’t easy, it’s just about always because I am the biggest obstacle. Yes, there are other people and external forces that all impact me.
As I take a closer look at the specifics of my “tough” life (when it feels tough), however, I can see that there’s quite a lot of control that I do have. In many respects and most of the time, I am the primary person who is standing in the way of that easy life that I claim to want.
Quite often, when we’re not having the life experience that we really want, when life feels conflict- or obstacle-ridden, it’s because we have set ourselves up for the exact experience that we’re having.
Here’s one reason why…
We tend to have knee-jerk reactions to our own desires.
When I declare to myself that, “I want an easy life,” a whole list of reactions spring out from the deepest reaches of my internal belief system.
Even if I don’t say it out loud, here’s what tends to come to my mind:
“But it would be lazy to have an easy life.”
“An easy life would be boring.”
“Should I trust something that comes too easily?”
“I wouldn’t feel deserving if my life came too easily.”
“It’s selfish to want an easy life.”
And it’s beliefs like these that form that brick wall which stands between where I am and the easy life for which I long.
We all have occasional (or frequent) knee-jerk reactions which usually spring from limiting beliefs. Sometimes we just think them to ourselves in a continuous loop. Other times, we take action– or restrain ourselves from action– because of them.
If you want to dissolve the obstacles between you and what you truly want in life, look at the thoughts and beliefs that pop up at the same time you recognize a desire.
You may have to really listen for them, but, chances are, they’re there.
Meet your obstacles with love.
A trap that I often fall into as I move through a process like this is to identify my self-imposed obstacles and then clamp down and tighten up– determined to make a change.
On some level, this makes sense.
We are used to greeting what’s unwanted in our lives with resistance. Culturally, we have wars against drugs, terrorism and violence. We buy products to fight acne, stains on clothing, and foot odor.
When we see an obstacle to the kind of world, society, home, family, body and life that we want, the tendency is to come down hard and aggressively in opposition.
While the products and even the campaigns sometimes bring about the positive changes they were aiming for, much of the time they fail miserably. We are left with more of what we were trying to eradicate in the first place– and we’re usually more frustrated and bitter for our efforts.
It is exactly the same way with our limiting beliefs.
When I push hard against the thoughts, beliefs and habits that seem to be blocking my way to an easy life, just about every time I more intensely feel stuck and struggling.
If, instead, I can cultivate acceptance and even love for myself– including those blocks and obstacles– I almost instantly ease up.
My breathing is freer and deeper and pathways open up.
It is with love that I can notice a self-critical and limiting belief and and it is with love that I can gently steer myself back to where I was trying to go.
And if that isn’t easy, I don’t know what is.
Comment from physician assistant
Time July 15, 2010 at 8:17 am
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