Heal Your Inner Teen
Why would anyone want to spend any time or energy returning to those hormone-racing, pimple-filled, angst-ridden teenage years?
Precisely because for just about every one of us there’s a lot that is unresolved about them.
Each of our raging inner teens come barging into our lives from time to time leaving us scratching our heads wondering…
Where did that reaction come from???
When you go inside and help your inner teen to heal, it’s quite likely that you’ll find a greater sense of peace, a boost in confidence and self-esteem and the space to be and do what you keep meaning to be and do.
You might remember back a few decades ago when there was a lot of talk in certain self-help circles about healing your inner child. This was sometimes also incorporated into 12-step programs.
As cliché as this idea has become, the work of going back into your past to heal those wounded parts that you still carry around today– and that limit your adult life today– has merit.
It’s kind of like clearing out the closets, as I blogged about last week.
When you go inside and provide nurturing and an opportunity for resolution to those parts of you that were virtually frozen in time by painful or traumatic experiences and beliefs, you create space.
This newly created space amounts to freedom. You are freer to take yourself to places that seemed impossible before.
This is the magic of clearing and the potential of healing your inner teen.
Some people did not have difficult teenage years fraught with emotional (and possibly physical) upheaval.
Regardless of how “bad” your teen years seemed to you to be, it’s probable that there are memories that are stuck within you– these might be visual, sensory, or take some other form.
When something triggers that stuck memory, you are transported back to that unforgettable moment in time. Yes, of course, some of those moments are giddy, fun and wonderful.
Others are anything but that.
For me, there are plenty of gut-wrenching, tear-jerking, regrettable times that I get transported back to along with many that are light-hearted and enjoyable.
For instance, there are particular sappy love songs from the 1980s that, when I hear them played today, instantly jerk me back to a sad corner of a darkened school dance watching other couples dance closely.
But the really stuck part for me is not that memory of a long ago dance in which I had no date. The part that truly limits my current day life are the beliefs that I am not good enough, pretty enough, popular enough, etc. that were behind my teenage angst in that moment.
This is why it can be invaluable to heal the inner teen.
Many of us continue to carry around the beliefs that we are not enough, somehow inappropriate or are insignificant (among others) and this can be crippling.
This can stand in the way of us following a career path that may be truly fulfilling and financially abundant. It can prevent us from being in the kind of love relationship we really desire. It can also eventually make us lackluster, dull, energy-less and even sick.
I am never a proponent of living in the past. At the same time, if you don’t heal those unresolved parts of you from the past, you will find yourself lugging them along with you into your present.
And this is rarely beneficial.
Now that you understand why it’s important to heal your inner teen, you might be wondering how to bring a sense of resolution to a memory that has already happened!?
Let me be clear here… I do not advise anyone to spend hours and hours re-counting who and what hurt your feelings, broke up with you, cheated on you, back-stabbed you or even made you feel great.
This is living in the past. It is not the kind of clearing and self-healing that I’m talking about.
What I do suggest is that when you feel stuck, sad or you’ve reacted intensely to something and you can’t put your finger on why that is, look to your inner teen.
Find a quiet space and literally ask what she or he needs? Let the answers come to you and then follow through as best you can.
What did most of us want as a teenager?
…to be listened to
Maybe your inner teen just wants to heard. Perhaps you grew up feeling that your ideas and dreams were ignored or discounted because you were “only a kid.” Now is a time when you can really listen to what your inner teen has to say.
…to be respected
How can you be more respectful of yourself? Even those aspects of you that you find lacking or full of faults deserve honoring. Be appreciative of all of you and of your growth along the way.
…to be loved
I don’t think that there’s a person alive today who doesn’t want to feel loved. This might have taken the form of desiring popularity or acceptance from peers when you were a teenager. It may have involved wanting your parents to love you for who you truly were, not who they wanted you to be.
Let your inner teen know that you are loved by the one whose love means the most– your own.
…to be free
When it comes down to it, to varying degrees, we all want to be free. We want to be free to be, do and have whatever we desire. Even the most rule-abiding, structured person wants to be free to be just the way he or she wants to be. This was probably especially true for you and me when we were teens.
The more you clear and heal those pains from your past, the freer you will be.
Comment from Gayathri Moosad Self Improvement
Time June 30, 2010 at 2:10 pm
The message of this post is incredible. It got me thinking about myself, and how it applies to me. I spent some time thinking about it, and I had great revelations. I never really thought of my teenage angst before – but I can see how some of it still affects me. Now that I know, I can change it. Thank you.