Personal Growth Planet Blog

It often catches me off-guard when I come upon some evidence of my aging body.

I look down to see my already-wrinkled hands, speckled with a few brown spots. I glance in the mirror to find stubborn gray hairs that seem to be ignoring the fact that I just dyed my hair brown.

I am rarely pleased with these new discoveries.

I hear friends, who are around my age (I’m 41), talk about how their bodies are becoming stiffer, less agile and their minds more scattered and forgetful.

I hear– from those around me and from inside my own head– a dour expectation that “it’s all downhill from here.”

When I turn on the tv or open a magazine there is an over-abundance of stereotypical images of aging– such as the feeble old man, hunched over in his 70s who repeats himself and can’t relate to today’s world or the post-menopausal woman who has no sex drive and heavily relies on her dermatologist’s treatments to feel even marginally attractive.

Most certainly, there are way too many products and regimens to count that purport to “fight” aging. Creams, gels, injections and drugs abound.

I’m certainly not here to say that any of these “anti-aging” products or regimens are bad (though some have significant side effects that make a me wonder if the benefits are worth it).

Let’s remember that at this stage of human evolution, we can’t literally reverse aging. When we came into these bodies, we signed on for this experience of change and impermanence.

What we do NOT have to do is to decline.

The difference between those two words is immense…and life-altering.

To decline is to deteriorate, gradually fail or fall apart.

To age is to grow in years and experience changes over time. Some of these changes may be displeasing and unwanted and other changes may actually be welcome.

Re-think aging.
There are SO many ways to get older. Nobody’s body changes in exactly the same way. There may be similarities and trends, but there are just as many unique experiences of aging.

I found out with my two sons that the books and studies aren’t always accurate predictors of how babies, toddlers and young children will grow and develop. They each bucked the trend of what they were “supposed” to do at particular ages and stages.

The same is oh so true when it comes to how people’s bodies change once we hit middle age and beyond.

If you find yourself talking and thinking about how your decline is unavoidable, know that you can choose to change your focus and your beliefs.

You can absolutely re-think aging. When you do, your experience is bound to change as well.

Remind yourself that there is a wide range of possibilities available to you when it comes to getting older.

You can fight it all the way, sink into a decline to which you are powerless or you can make peace with aging and keep living fully as you do.

I find it inspiring to look around me at examples of aging that are in line with what I want for my own experience.

I look at my mother, who is in her 60s, and appreciate the way she’s choosing to live. There is no decline apparent there as she rides her bike, belly dances, works at a job she enjoys and has a healthy sex life with her husband.

I listen to my grandmother, who is in her late 80s, as she lists off the many garden parties, meetings and card clubs she attends every week. Yes, she falls down every once in awhile and, yes, she sometimes repeats herself, but she is also living life very fully and on her terms.

Look at the people in your life– or even someone walking down the street. Make note of those who are aging in ways that buck the trends.

Know that this is possible for you too.

When you notice on your own body a new gray hair, wrinkles, a twinge in your back that wasn’t there before of whatever sign of aging you see, be gentle and loving with yourself.

This sign doesn’t have to be an indication that you’re already “over the hill,” or quickly approaching it. Instead, broaden your gaze. Pay attention to the health and vitality that is very much alive and well within you.

Going “downhill” doesn’t have to be such a bad thing after all. Pick up your feet and enjoy the ride.

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Tags: aging, body changes, decline, getting older, gray hair, memory loss, middle age, personal growth, wrinkles