Personal Growth Planet Blog

It’s like a feel-good chain letter in real life…that doesn’t involve some threat of bad luck if you don’t pass it on.

I’m talking about “Pay It Forward Day” which has been declared to be on Thursday, April 29th. Even if you’re reading this blog post after the 29th, you can still join in on the magic of it.

About 10 years ago, a powerful film called “Pay It Forward” was released in the U.S. The story centers on a 12 year old boy who, acting from a belief in the inherent goodness in all people, is motivated to do something kind for someone else.

The boy starts an entire movement as he asks the person he helped to assist 3 other people who will each then be given the same opportunity to spread kindness and love to more people. You can imagine how quickly the benevolence spread.

From this wonderful movie, the Pay It Forward foundation and actual movement was born.

With this approach to human interaction, there are no paybacks. Instead, those who have benefited from another’s generosity are invited to pay it forward.

First, be willing to receive.
Too many times, I am quick to give and am not so open to receiving. This completely undercuts the positive potential that could happen every single day for me and for each of us.

Placing more emphasis and even value on the giving end of relating to others makes it tough to truly pay it forward.

For one thing, a bias toward giving usually blinds us to the many acts of generosity that are being directed our way. It is hard to truly appreciate and see the way that other people are extending themselves for our benefit (either directly or indirectly) if we are not in a receiving mode.

If it seems to you that nobody does anything nice for anybody else these days, perhaps a shift in perception is called for. What are you possibly missing or dismissing?

Yesterday morning, my neighbor came over and helped me figure out how to open the hood on a car we received from my cousin recently. I was struggling with the latch and had just about given up when this neighbor walked over asking if I wanted help.

It was obvious that my neighbor was on her way to work. She may have been on a tight schedule. But she took the time to figure out that latch with me.

Both the generosity of my cousin’s gift of a car to my family and my neighbor taking a few minutes from her busy morning were examples of giving– both of which I chose to receive.

Give yourself permission to receive. This might take the form of receiving a compliment from another person, some act of kindness such as someone opening a door for you, or it could be a material item.

You can also receive the love sent your way as a complete stranger smiles and looks you in the eye as you pass one another on the street.

Pay it forward…without any strings attached.
Now that you have allowed yourself to fully receive all of the wondrous gifts you are being given daily (including the glorious Earth gifts we are given as the sun rises, flowers bloom and food grows), it’s time to step up and pay it forward.

There’s just one caveat that I’m adding to this great idea:

I recommend that when we all pay it forward, we do so without any strings attached.

A friend of mine received a special guitar from her father when she was a young girl. He was going through a difficult time and wanted her to have this musical instrument. He also made clear that he wanted her to take lessons and learn how to play the guitar.

My friend was touched by this gift from her father. She treasured it throughout the years…but she never did learn how to play it. For whatever reason, she was drawn to other musical and creative pursuits and learning how to play the guitar didn’t resonate for her.

Over the years, her father did not forget the stipulation that he placed on his gift to her. He regularly asked when she was going to learn how to play that guitar!

We’ve probably all done this in some way or another.

We do something nice for another person but then are irritated or even hurt and upset because they don’t use whatever it is we did for them in the way we intended.

This applies to both material gifts and also to acts of generosity.

When any of us attaches conditions or rules to our giving, it can become burdensome or even feel oppressive to those we are ostensibly trying to help.

It may not always be easy to do, but when you can extend your self in kind and loving ways to another person and do so with absolutely no attachment to how they use or even receive your giving, then you are truly paying it forward.

The person or people that you choose to help today (and every day) may not turn around and do something nice for others in their lives.

This doesn’t mean that the chain of paying it forward necessarily stops.

When you give solely from love and a willingness to help hold up another person for a little while, the positive ripples will inevitably spread…to those involved, those around you seeing the example and those who know nothing about your act but can still sense that kindness has been going on.

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Tags: Giving, Help, Pay It Forward, Pay It Forward Day, Recieving